Tag Archive | suffering

Could BE

We are told life should be a certain way.  If it strays from this expectation we judge it as ‘bad’ or ‘wrong’.

No one teaches us how to live the life we have been given.  We must learn that for ourselves even if there are things about it that we do not like.  Even if there are things about ourselves we do not like.

We suffer because life is not what we want.  We suffer because we are not what we think we should be.

This suffering layers upon itself and spirals us down the rabbit hole of despair.

First, to begin our healing, we have to recognize our unhappiness.  We have to find the thoughts within our minds that support that life is not as it should be.

This takes time.

This takes courage.

It is hard but you do not have to do anything more than that.  Make space for your judgments against life and yourself.

Given the framework we live in, it would make sense you would have these thoughts of ‘not enough’ or ‘less than’.

How does it feel to watch your judgments and not fight them?

For me, it feels easier.  The suffering these thoughts cause still remains but the resistance to them is diminished.

When we stop fighting what is, what will happen?

This could be the first step towards Love.  This could be the first step towards healing.

This could be the beginning of everything.

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Suffering as Grace

There is a difference between pain and suffering.

Pain is a natural result of an emotional or physical injury.  It is contained to a specific act or event.  If pain is left to its own devices, it will run its course and return the injured party to peace.

Suffering happens when we argue with our pain.  When we label pain or judge it harshly, it begins to bleed on to our character, our hopes and our dreams.  We suffer deeply as a result.  Immersed in this complexity, our hearts are cut off from Love.

Pain, though uncomfortable, quickly moves through us.  Pain has a purpose.  Pain will help us return to wholeness.

In contrast, suffering spreads like hot lava until we forget we were ever whole.  The burning edges of it singe every facet of our existence.

There are things our eyes cannot see and our hearts cannot know until will break ourselves free from old ways of thinking.

Sometimes we need to demolish these patterns through suffering.

Take heart for what remains is deliverance.

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The Summit

My fate was determined before I even began.  I thought the path was winding, but it was not.

I have climbed the mountain.  I have arrived.

Everything is exactly as it was before.  The only difference is my perception.

The shift is complete and it is permanent.

There is no going back now.

I have yet to find peace here at the summit of The Mountain.  I am not ready for peace.

First, I must say goodbye to all the old ways of thinking.

I must let go of thinking.

All in due time.

It is not up to me to determine when the transformation is complete.

If I am here and I am writing these words, it means more transformation is coming.

It is inevitable.

Now, later or somewhere in between, that is where you will find me.

In search of a peace that is available to all but is ever elusive.

The more I reach, the more it recedes from the periphery.

So, I rest in a quiet uncertainty grateful that I am even walking this journey at all.

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Home

When our roots are shaken, what remains is more True.

Life presents us with newness to remind of us of the eternal.

With sameness we are complacent and never question what our eyes see before us.

Our eyes report only illusions.

We may not be able to hold an answer our eyes can recognize, but fear not.

Our heart will know.

As true as the air we breathe, our dreams rest in safety.

All the way Home.

sW HOme

Courage is Contagious

What can change teach us?

Look around.

What is the same?

From one instant to the next the world pulses its transformation through us more quickly than a mind can process.

Every cell, every atom moving with energy to appear solid and true.

Nothing is static.

All things in a perpetual state of becoming.

That is why attachment to the outer world can leave us feeling empty.

If we know for certain that tomorrow will be different from today, where do we anchor ourselves?

Where does a wandering heart find solace?

What is true?

What is Truth?

If we are able to look within and began to answer these questions, life becomes more stable.

It’s as if by accepting that everything is false we finally come to know once and for all, Love is the only Truth that matters.

With this knowledge tucked in our pockets, we are safe.

And, courage washes over us, through us and around us.

Courage is contagious.

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The Rising Tide

Imagine sitting in a small rowboat as it fills with water.

The water is our fear.

We cup our hands into it and toss it away again and again.

Is it any wonder that we are hurting and tired?

Sometimes, we think those with less water in their boats are more frightening than the water itself.

So what do we do?

We attack them with our words and our deeds.  We try to shame them into having the same amount of fear/water we possess.

There comes a time when our arms tire from all the fearful judgments we fling outward.  Our minds then fuzz over with exhaustion from trying to sink everyone but ourselves.

What happens then?

Do we then sink?  Or, do we rise up with the tide and let Love carry us?

Maybe consider Love today.

It will carry us through no matter how deep the water.

Spiritual Writes The Rising Tide

She Is the Sky

Through a lifetime, the person I believed I was walked through the world alone.  There was something about her that did not belong.  It was as if a wall of thick ice surrounded her.

This chill kept others away.

She became a great pretender.  She had many stretches where she used her intuitive empathy to emulate those around her.  She could suspend herself in this false belonging, but only for short bursts.

When these illusions crumbled, she was once again left with that cold block of soul she lugged around.  She carried it to many corners of the world hoping belonging would find her there.

After years of listless wandering, the cold began to overtake her.  No matter what she did to warm herself, her heart remained frozen until one day it shattered completely.

She stood in the middle of the craggy shards of who-she-used-to-be and believed she was lost forever.

Years went by and she remained lost.

Years.

Without her knowledge, a drastic change had occurred.  While she still always felt cold and continued to repel others, it did not matter as much to her.

Along the way, because life had broken her so much, she had given up the pretending.  This meant more illusions of belonging had to fall away from her life, but what remained was solid and true.

As she let go of wanting to be loved by many, she also began to let go of the solid and true few that loved her as she was.

To her relief, they stayed close.

Every day she celebrates the love that shows up to find her.

Every day she works to release her expectations of what that love should look like.  Not surprisingly, she always has enough.

She always had enough, but she could not see it.  Not while she focused on belonging where she did not.

Where she stands now, she is everything all at once.

She is fire and ice.  She is light and dark.

She is the sky.

She is hope.

She is no one.

She is all of us.

She is You.

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