Tag Archive | suffering

Awakening in Stages

As humans, we arrive in our experience believing we are separate from our Source and from each other.  Some remember in an instant and are fully immersed in a sustained Truth that is unshakeable.  For the remainder of us on the path of awakening, remembering our True State comes to us in stages.

The first stage is an undoing of the illusory constructs of our personal identity.  This is where an internal shift begins and will not be stopped until our egos are completely undone.  Once you step beyond the small self, you can never fully return to it.

Then, in the second stage, you are caught in the uncertainty of not knowing what is real and what is not.  This can last for weeks, years, decades or sometimes a lifetime.  Give yourself compassion if this is where you are.  This is the most painful part of Remembering.  I have lived it.  It almost broke me apart into a million pieces.  Looking back I understand breaking down to near extinction was the point.  My identity had to be stripped away to nothing so I could experience Truth.

I am now entering the third phase of Remembering.  I am still a small self but I am no longer afraid of Truth.  Each day I am more and more willing to turn inward to the astounding Beauty within me.  I have less fear.  I have more peace.  The small self is healing in ways big and small.

When I am immersed in this Peace, I know Love like the back of my hand.  It holds me, it heals me, it sets me free.

I have only begun the real work of Awakening.  My purpose is to keep Remembering as much as I am able and share this Knowing with anyone who is ready to listen.

When it is time for you to listen, you will Know.

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Where Your Words Meet Your Mind

In the middle of the night, the quiet that settles over us is meant to inspire us.  It is meant to Love us back to Truth.

The body awakens and the mind races unsure why sleep escapes us.  Logic seems to work in our favor.  It appears to be the route we must travel for peace.  It tries to work through our problems and understand the source of our wakefulness.

But it does not help.

Logic cannot comfort in the dark.  It can only dance us away from what is Whole and True within us.

Before you believe everything you think, breathe into where your words meet your mind.

At this crux, if only a sliver of light escapes its way Home, follow it with everything you are.

There, beyond, is the garden full of sparkling blooms waiting for you to gather them up in your empty arms.

All you need is in this garden.

It will bloom until dawn comes.

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All of Us

Today is the day I understood that everything was my gift.  All experiences; good, bad, indifferent, were planted in my path so that I may stumble my way to Freedom.

Each sad day, every difficult choice and all the emotions that pierced my heart were reaching out to my soul, beckoning me Home.

While I see the gifts of the All, I go back and forth between worlds.  Still a part of what I knew while growing my awareness of my Freedom State.

Today, I say thank you to every One that seemed to break my heart.

Their pain was a mirror of mine so I could see what I was too afraid to look at.

What a beautiful gift you are to me.  What a beautiful gift you are to the world.

May all beings be free from sorrow.  May all beings find their way Home.  May All of Us know our Path is draped in Love.

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Could BE

We are told life should be a certain way.  If it strays from this expectation we judge it as ‘bad’ or ‘wrong’.

No one teaches us how to live the life we have been given.  We must learn that for ourselves even if there are things about it that we do not like.  Even if there are things about ourselves we do not like.

We suffer because life is not what we want.  We suffer because we are not what we think we should be.

This suffering layers upon itself and spirals us down the rabbit hole of despair.

First, to begin our healing, we have to recognize our unhappiness.  We have to find the thoughts within our minds that support that life is not as it should be.

This takes time.

This takes courage.

It is hard but you do not have to do anything more than that.  Make space for your judgments against life and yourself.

Given the framework we live in, it would make sense you would have these thoughts of ‘not enough’ or ‘less than’.

How does it feel to watch your judgments and not fight them?

For me, it feels easier.  The suffering these thoughts cause still remains but the resistance to them is diminished.

When we stop fighting what is, what will happen?

This could be the first step towards Love.  This could be the first step towards healing.

This could be the beginning of everything.

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Suffering as Grace

There is a difference between pain and suffering.

Pain is a natural result of an emotional or physical injury.  It is contained to a specific act or event.  If pain is left to its own devices, it will run its course and return the injured party to peace.

Suffering happens when we argue with our pain.  When we label pain or judge it harshly, it begins to bleed on to our character, our hopes and our dreams.  We suffer deeply as a result.  Immersed in this complexity, our hearts are cut off from Love.

Pain, though uncomfortable, quickly moves through us.  Pain has a purpose.  Pain will help us return to wholeness.

In contrast, suffering spreads like hot lava until we forget we were ever whole.  The burning edges of it singe every facet of our existence.

There are things our eyes cannot see and our hearts cannot know until will break ourselves free from old ways of thinking.

Sometimes we need to demolish these patterns through suffering.

Take heart for what remains is deliverance.

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The Summit

My fate was determined before I even began.  I thought the path was winding, but it was not.

I have climbed the mountain.  I have arrived.

Everything is exactly as it was before.  The only difference is my perception.

The shift is complete and it is permanent.

There is no going back now.

I have yet to find peace here at the summit of The Mountain.  I am not ready for peace.

First, I must say goodbye to all the old ways of thinking.

I must let go of thinking.

All in due time.

It is not up to me to determine when the transformation is complete.

If I am here and I am writing these words, it means more transformation is coming.

It is inevitable.

Now, later or somewhere in between, that is where you will find me.

In search of a peace that is available to all but is ever elusive.

The more I reach, the more it recedes from the periphery.

So, I rest in a quiet uncertainty grateful that I am even walking this journey at all.

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Home

When our roots are shaken, what remains is more True.

Life presents us with newness to remind of us of the eternal.

With sameness we are complacent and never question what our eyes see before us.

Our eyes report only illusions.

We may not be able to hold an answer our eyes can recognize, but fear not.

Our heart will know.

As true as the air we breathe, our dreams rest in safety.

All the way Home.

sW HOme