Tag Archive | spiritual path

Could BE

We are told life should be a certain way.  If it strays from this expectation we judge it as ‘bad’ or ‘wrong’.

No one teaches us how to live the life we have been given.  We must learn that for ourselves even if there are things about it that we do not like.  Even if there are things about ourselves we do not like.

We suffer because life is not what we want.  We suffer because we are not what we think we should be.

This suffering layers upon itself and spirals us down the rabbit hole of despair.

First, to begin our healing, we have to recognize our unhappiness.  We have to find the thoughts within our minds that support that life is not as it should be.

This takes time.

This takes courage.

It is hard but you do not have to do anything more than that.  Make space for your judgments against life and yourself.

Given the framework we live in, it would make sense you would have these thoughts of ‘not enough’ or ‘less than’.

How does it feel to watch your judgments and not fight them?

For me, it feels easier.  The suffering these thoughts cause still remains but the resistance to them is diminished.

When we stop fighting what is, what will happen?

This could be the first step towards Love.  This could be the first step towards healing.

This could be the beginning of everything.

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The Summit

My fate was determined before I even began.  I thought the path was winding, but it was not.

I have climbed the mountain.  I have arrived.

Everything is exactly as it was before.  The only difference is my perception.

The shift is complete and it is permanent.

There is no going back now.

I have yet to find peace here at the summit of The Mountain.  I am not ready for peace.

First, I must say goodbye to all the old ways of thinking.

I must let go of thinking.

All in due time.

It is not up to me to determine when the transformation is complete.

If I am here and I am writing these words, it means more transformation is coming.

It is inevitable.

Now, later or somewhere in between, that is where you will find me.

In search of a peace that is available to all but is ever elusive.

The more I reach, the more it recedes from the periphery.

So, I rest in a quiet uncertainty grateful that I am even walking this journey at all.

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Beyond Wonder

You do not choose to no longer identify as a self in the world.  Never condemn yourself for something so impossible.  You have already shown great courage but welcoming in a new way of understanding.  This is enough.

You are enough.

It is less about choosing and more about letting go.

Let go of the holy process of undoing the self.

Your willingness to see beyond it was all that was needed.

What a marvel you are.

Yet, do not get stuck in your own wonder.  Every last person alive can have this willingness.

There has always been an invitation available to us.  It was our birthright.

It was given to all of us.

Letting go of the self seems impossible if we feel responsible for it.  We bump into error when we think our specialness lies in our ability to transcend the world while we still are a part of it.

We are not the doers.

Our holy selves do the work.

We only choose to allow for this work to happen or we stay grounded in the belief that we are human.

Both choices are lovely expressions of being.  One is not more true than the other.

If you love your life as it is, if it makes sense, then there is nothing more to be done.

If you feel life is more than what we appear to know, rest in knowing that while hard work seems to lie ahead, you are not alone.

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New Beginnings

What if today, if only for a moment, there was a total trust in life’s unfoldment?

Could you rest?

I cannot make any promises for you on life’s behalf.

Life knows better than we do.

Pain and loss often teach us more than laughter and joy.

Collect each experience, as best as you can, and place them in the basket of your soul.  The depth of these experiences will soon surpass your need for happiness.

For happiness is fleeting and leaves as quickly as it arrives.

Truth, the kind that holds our being together through the storms, can only find us when life is unexpected.

This is how we stretch and grow.

This is why endings sometimes hurt us.

All we have is this moment.

Best to leave the rest up to tomorrow.

 

 

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Beauty is Nigh

I have been climbing this mountain for a while now.  The path is uncertain and jagged rocks claw at my boots causing countless falls.

I am covered in dirt.

I am tired.

Yet, I keep going, keep pushing.  I am bound to break through to the light.

Hard work means success.

Hard work means success?

Why do I not see the progression?

Where is the top?  Is it buried in the clouds?  Will it never lend itself to me?

I have to keep going.

Think positive.  Be brave.  Keep moving towards the light.

My legs ache with exertion, my back caves into the pressure.  I am not sure how much further I can go.

In my tired confusion my eyes skim an upturned root a second too late.   I crash face first into the mud-covered path.  Pain sears through my skull as it connects to the ground beneath me.

I am jolted to a dead-stop.

Fear immediately washes over me.  No one has ever given me permission to quit.  All the heroes’ journeys are about motion.  Movement.  Doing.  Slaying. Fighting for your Life.

What about a journey that stops right in the middle?

Did I fail?

Am I a failure?

I give up completely.

The pain is too great to continue.

I have nothing more to give as this path has robbed me of my hope.

I flip myself over and sit squarely upon the very root that upended me.

My head tilts forward as the tears begin to catch at my feet, mingling with the puddles and earth below me.

Out of the corner of a tear-stained eye, I notice movement. A cardinal flutters nearby.  The bright red punctures the landscape with truth.

Once my eyes affix to it, she gently floats away so my gaze aligns with the path behind us.

All I see is beauty.

All I am is beauty.

The light filters in through the towering pines that flank the pathway.  This light dapples and dances across the greenery before us.

As I soak in the majesty around me, I understand that the only fear I was running from was my own.  This fear masked a deep, guarded pain that I keep hidden by always moving.

I have to stop running.

It is time to be still.

The only thing running gets you is tired.

Beauty is already here.

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Truth Sparkles

It is perfectly ok to polish the externals of your life until they shine.

Shiny things are pretty.

They also use their speckles of light to catch your attention and move you away from your Home.

Home is where all things are equal.

There is nothing to shine.

There is nothing to be.

There is nothing to do.

Truth sparkles on its own accord.

 

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What We Carry

Through my entire existence, I have been labeled by others and self-identified as sensitive.  I did not know I could change the oft unflattering connotations that this label has held for me.  I have carried the burden of being so completely outside the norm that it broke me.  It broke me hard.

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Eventually, I realized that it does not matter if I am or am not sensitive.  I am dropping this story as much as I can in as many ways possible. So what if I am?  So what if you are?  Let us look instead at where these false assumptions about ourselves lead us.  If we stay stuck in the personal, if we stay married to the labels, then we miss the entire point.

Every single one of us is somehow ‘not enough’ or ‘too much’ or ‘too this’ or ‘too that’.  If you want to spend your days in judgment determining what are acceptable levels of these traits in yourself and others, then this is your right.  Maybe sometimes a little good will come from these judgments. In my experience, this is rarely the case.  I believe labels and our judgments about them keep us looking outward where no solace can be found.

If you want to keep focusing outward, I hope you are able to at least consider the crosses you bear only hurt because you carry them.  

Lay them down.