Tag Archive | Salvation

The Blue Sky

The small girl shaded her eyes with her hand as she looked up at the expanse of the sky overhead.  It never ceased to amaze her.

This sky was so beautiful.

It was so blue.

Blue was her favorite color.

In the sky her soul could soar.  It could be as big as it needed to be.  She was without limits.

Finally, something matched how she felt on the inside.  It was a relief to find something in the world that mirrored a little of how she felt.  Nothing else did.

Eventually, as a self in the world tends to do, she learned about science and realized the sky was every color except blue.

from How Do We See Color? pantone.com:

Newton observed that color is not inherent in objects. Rather, the surface of an object reflects some colors and absorbs all the others. We perceive only the reflected colors.

Thus, red is not “in” an apple. The surface of the apple is reflecting the wavelengths we see as red and absorbing all the rest.

 

How could the sky not be blue?

It was as if everything she believed was no longer real.

Because it wasn’t.

As she grew into womanhood, the same thing happened to her when she began to understand the world around her was everything she thought it was not.

She thought it was real.

It is not.

Things that are real are immovable, unchanging and eternal.

Nothing in the world falls into these categories.

Everything we see and experience shifts and changes.

Who were you ten years ago?

Where did that person go?

Since we no longer are those people, does that mean they never existed?

Maybe what is real can only be found in the present moment.

Blink and that is over too.

Until we know for ourselves what is real and what is not, let us not forget to gaze upon the things that we love and pray they lead us home.

 

 

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This Mind’s Truth

Do you ever wonder why sitting in stillness is so hard?

This is where Truth lives.

Not the temporary kind you apply to life in an attempt to connect its fragmented logic, but rather, this is the Truth that transcends life.

I have accepted this Truth as a part of my experience.  It was sheer terror opening my mind to it because within its parameters, I ceased to exist.  Yet in the absence of my existence, I somehow observed the Truth.  It cannot be articulated.  It can only be experienced.

While I am more accepting that this mind opened a doorway to Truth, as a personal self, it is a very challenging awareness to play out on the stage of humanity.

I am somewhere in the middle.  I do not fully identify as a personal self anymore, however, it is the only identity in which I can relate.

It may be why strangers share their souls with me.  On some level, they know that I understand there is more to us than what meets the eye.

Once I started to accept that Divinity lived in my awareness, I began to panic.  If I knew the Truth, I had to share the Truth.

Slowly, over time, I have come to know that what I do will not impact the outcome of Truth.

Truth will come to each of us in its own way, in its own time.

I do not have to change anyone’s personal perspective, not even my own.

spiritual Writes March 25

 

 

What We Carry

Through my entire existence, I have been labeled by others and self-identified as sensitive.  I did not know I could change the oft unflattering connotations that this label has held for me.  I have carried the burden of being so completely outside the norm that it broke me.  It broke me hard.

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Eventually, I realized that it does not matter if I am or am not sensitive.  I am dropping this story as much as I can in as many ways possible. So what if I am?  So what if you are?  Let us look instead at where these false assumptions about ourselves lead us.  If we stay stuck in the personal, if we stay married to the labels, then we miss the entire point.

Every single one of us is somehow ‘not enough’ or ‘too much’ or ‘too this’ or ‘too that’.  If you want to spend your days in judgment determining what are acceptable levels of these traits in yourself and others, then this is your right.  Maybe sometimes a little good will come from these judgments. In my experience, this is rarely the case.  I believe labels and our judgments about them keep us looking outward where no solace can be found.

If you want to keep focusing outward, I hope you are able to at least consider the crosses you bear only hurt because you carry them.  

Lay them down.

 

 

 

What If?

What if the harder you try to find Truth, the more elusive it becomes?

What if knowing the answers meant letting go of finding them?

What if peace comes when the self’s expression of pain and fear is simply allowed?

What if all you have been searching for was right here, right now, not even a breath away?

What if you could accept that everything was perfect, unfolding as a great story of time and space, even when it hurt and was inexplicable in its complexities?

What if Love is all there is?

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The Orchids of the World

“Most people are dandelions; they’ll come out okay under almost any circumstances.  Others are orchids; they’re not just more sensitive to negative outcomes but more sensitive to everything.  They won’t flourish in the dirt by the side of the road like a dandelion would.  But when they’re well tended in a nice greenhouse, their beauty will put the dandelions to shame”

-Eric Barker, ‘Barking up the Wrong Tree:  The Surprising Science Behind Why Everything You Know about Success is (Mostly) Wrong

Beauty is subjective.

The point here is not to label ourselves more beautiful or less beautiful.  The point is for the orchids of the world, myself included, to recognize we have any beauty at all.

What do humans do but label and categorize ourselves until we whittle our best qualities down to piles of useless dust.

I have lived life frightened of my own beauty.  I’m still scared I will lose all I have longed for and love, but I can no longer deny the spirit self that resides within me waiting to be expressed.

As an orchid, I have realized the intense nurturing I seek may not be available to me in the form of other people.  The nurturing I seek is within me.  To access it, I have to be so honest that my heart breaks again and again until all that remains is love.

This love is beyond what is found in the world.

A happy by-product of this love, once recognized, it makes the world around you appear more loving and accepting of who-you-really-are.

How is this possible if you haven’t changed at all?

It’s simple really.

You don’t need to change, you only have to change your mind.

Choose love.

Don’t mess with perfection.

I see it in you.

Have the courage to embrace it.

See how your world changes.

The Stages of the Path

A spiritual path is not chosen.  It is given to everyone.  Every single one of us has the chance to journey inward to our highest self, or remain trapped in the machinations of the seemingly unfixable external world.  Honestly, I’m not comfortable with either, but the inward path, while currently quite painful, makes more sense to me than anything that unfolds in the world.

The first stage is recognizing that we are more than our bodies.  That part is easy.  Once our self-identified egos realize that we are open to the Truth beyond our personal selves, this is where it becomes treacherous.  Most of us abandon the path at the first sign of trouble.  That is okay.  Whatever you do or don’t do aligns perfectly with however the eventual awakening of the planet happens.  Do not worry one bit if going inward hurts too much because believe me, it does.  Maybe some day you will be ready, maybe some day you won’t, you are perfect right where you are at.  As much as I’ve tried to avoid going beyond the self, it hurts me more not to.  So, I keep going, one painful step at a time.  On to the next stage…

This is where you understand that there are two thought systems in your mind.  One that is full of judgment, blame, guilt, fear, comparison, lack…these all are personal self-ways to stay mired in the story of life.  The other thought system is LOVE.  This isn’t love in the traditional sense (as related to a personal self or selves).  This love doesn’t transform the outer world, this is the love that transcends it.  Very different.  This is the love that accepts the world exactly as it is because it is beyond the world.  This probably doesn’t make a lot a sense, that’s the trap built into it.  It seems to make no sense to keep the personal self denying the Truth. Even slightly entertaining the thought of something beyond the self might make you angry, upset or spark a myriad of malaise and maladies.  If it seems like too much trouble, then it is.  Let it go and if being a self in the world works for you, then keep going as you are.  Nothing to change, nothing to do, all is well.  However, if something inside you is recognizing even a tiny speck of the truth beyond the veil of the world, then you might make it your life’s work to consciously discern from the two thought systems in your mind.  If you do this, it is the hardest work you will ever do.  Your personal self will fight you tooth and nail.  It will be subtle, sneaky, overt, mean, seductive, and whatever else it can throw at you to keep you engaged in its story.  The personal self knows if you are outwardly focused on making the story of your life different, better, shinier… then you don’t have to do the work of letting it all go.

The next stage is the letting go part.  I’m not there yet so all I can write about is what I imagine this to look like.  This is where the thought system of love wins all the time.  There is no need or desire to change the self, the world or anyone or anything all.  This is where we are liberated from thinking we need to change anything about ourselves.  There is nothing wrong with us.  The only idea that is wrong is that we believe something that isn’t true.  We are more than our bodies.  Believing we aren’t is the source of all our pain, separation and angst.  However, I will say this again, if you are at peace with the story of your life and the world as is, it is okay to stick with it.  On the other hand, if something feels off or like you will never quite belong here, maybe consider the inward path.

I used to think that it was all up to me.  It’s not.  It is inevitable.  We all awaken in our own time and at our own pace.  This I know for sure.

“The more scared we are of a work or calling, the more sure we can be that we have to do it.”

-Steven Pressfield, The War of Art

The Floating Heart

The tiny girl sat on the step.

A wisp of wind blew her golden strands across her face,

Matted to her tears, she moved them aside with her hand.

She watched herself doing this but not from where she sat,

The tiny girl was somewhere else.

 

Her heart floated away when it became too heavy for her small body to carry.

This is how she coped when life broke her.

She had learned no one outside her had any answers.

Often, other people were more broken than she was,

The difference is she knew she was and she owned it.

She didn’t deflect her suffering onto others,

She held it in her small body until it was too much, and then,… she was gone.

 

She rested in Love while everything crumbled.

 

Her prayers were only for the realization that none of us are separate.

We are all branches expressing the deepest roots of Love.

 

When the tiny girl returned to her body, the suffering had not subsided, at least not today, maybe not tomorrow and maybe it never would.

 

This seemed to matter to her but somewhere beyond herself she knew that it didn’t.

Suffering seems to define a body’s experience but instead, it strengthens the soul.

 

When our suffering is so deep, so true, so beyond ourselves, this is when we begin our

journey Home.

The tiny girl’s ancient journey had started before she began.

She couldn’t alter the path even if she had wanted to.

It made her feel so alone until she understood it was teaching her True Connection.

 

But for now, all she had was the step she sat upon, the tears that would not cease and an unbearably heavy heart…

 

And in that instant, she floated away once more…