Tag Archive | peace

The Tunnel of Life

In the tunnel of life we are always told to keep facing forward. Our eyes must remain fixed in place at all costs. Even on our most broken days, we must keep marching towards the tunnel’s illuminated endpoint.

The light at the end of the tunnel holds the All of Everything we need to finally be whole. Redemption awaits us there. The banquet tables of celebration are set in anticipation of our arrival.

We are not to question anything. We are not to notice that the light seems to move farther from us with each step. The light is not for the weary of faith. It is for the believers. Believers never question.

Eyes forward, no questions.

Keep marching.

The world and its wisdom shouts at us to keep trudging. Even if we stumble and twist our ankle, we grab some crutches and go.

The light waits for no one.

We march in packs mostly, but today, as exhaustion settles into me, I find myself unable to keep pace. At first, I slow my gait. Eventually, when this does not quell my malaise, I come to a halt.

I am not going to make it to the light.

My hands scrape down the tunnel as I fold my legs into a seat on the floor.

It is cold. It is damp.

It reeks of utter defeat.

I try to comfort myself. I gave it everything I had.

It was not enough.

I begin to accept the quiet possibility that I am not enough. I am not made for this journey. The light is not meant for me.

My heart drops low in my chest. As my senses adjust to the absence of light, a spark at the edge of my despair catches my eye. Fear forces me to avert my gaze.

Yet, it is persistent.

Soon, the all of my sadness is alight with bursting, blinding, brightness. It fills my being, my heart, and my soul. The entire tunnel is shining. I am able to see in all directions. The past, the present, the future.

As I take in this new source of light, I notice for the first time the full magnificence of the tunnel as it is.

Right here, right now.  This moment, this beauty.

It is everything.

Until now, I never considered the tunnel was beauty.  No one ever said the tunnel itself was beautiful.

If I never make it out, I have enough right here to sustain me.  Here I am fed by eternal, untouchable beauty and reminded of my inner light.

The tunnel and I are one.

The tunnel is the light.

Therefore, I am the light.

I am the light.

I have always been the light.

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Dear One

Oh, Dear One,

You have given your best

Somehow, within all the constant motioning, you realized it was not real

You had to find the balance of living your fears and heartache while planting seeds of hope in the more of who-you-are

You learned turning away from tumult only makes it louder

Your humanity remains fixed

Forgive yourself for this

Grow your heart wider than the river of suffering on which you float

Even when your sorrow catches in the current, grow wider still

You will always land with soft feet and sunlit eyes by embracing the divinity of Love

For every broken dream, Dear One, has led you to the mountain

Before you would have climbed with all your might

But, not today

You know the beauty of the mountain is the same at all points and peaks

Grow your heart wide, Dear One,

Grow wider still

 

 

 

 

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True-For-You

The gift of conditional love is the ability to recognize what is unconditional.

Conditional love promises acceptance and belonging if its terms are met.  The onus is all up to you.  If you are able to meet the criteria, you will belong.  You must be vigilant.  You must constantly change who-you-are to meet the conditional where it lives.

It works for awhile.  Sometimes, it even mimics what the unconditional might feel like.

Then, the signs become too loud to ignore.  Your world changes, your body and mind begin to breakdown and even though you see the truth for what it is, you are too frightened to leave the familiar.

I cannot promise you an easy path if you choose to seek for that which is unconditional.

The heart of belonging is found within you.  Every time another is unable to walk with you on the path, they are leading you inward.  Therefore, not meeting you where you are is an act of great beauty.  For if this happens enough, maybe a thousand times or more, you are left with what is most real.

Unconditional Love.

You are complete and whole. You do not have to try to be something you aren’t or say things you never believed. You do not have to pretend up is down or wrong is right.  You can express what is true-for-you in all circumstances never needing an outside source to validate it.

If it’s true-for-you, it is.

Rest in this Knowing.

You never have to be anything other than you.

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Thy Name is Love

Sometimes what is broken must remain so, but only for a little while.

We cannot make the pain of heartbreak leave us before it has transformed what needed mending. We may walk blindly through life for years not knowing we are holding onto beliefs that do not serve or heartache too painful to process.

For years.

The courage to face what is broken comes to us over time.  As we live through the ups and downs of life, our inner resources grow and our faith that life is in our favor expands.

So that pain you have been carrying, as it it surfaces, even though it feels like the world may be ending, is sending you a message.

This pain is your beauty.  It is where all that is True and Loving exist for you.  You are shedding beliefs that are hurtful.  Learn to sit with your heartbreak and let it tell its tale.  Let it rage at the unfairness of it all.  Let it mourn the relationships that are not meant to be.  Let it break itself apart until it is a glittering, jagged mess of edges and shards.  Until it is no longer recognizable.  Until you realize that you can rename it.

And that name is Love.

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This Is Life

Within life’s shatterings, a wisdom will find and guide us.  This wisdom watches and waits without judgement.  It knows the Truth of our hearts.  When life does not match our heart’s Truth, it starts to crumble away.

Even if we are aware of this process, it will not prevent the pain associated with it.  If we attempt to avoid this pain, it only prolongs our suffering.

First the crumble, then the pain and then we meet our Truth.

Most of our pain is attached to our illusion that we are in control of how life unfolds.  This can take many forms.  It can look like ‘security’ with the way things are and a belief comfortable circumstances will remain the same.  It sometimes shows up as imagining a future goal and our desired outcome of this goal will free us from our feelings of inadequacy.  The most common and habitual deflection of the fear of life’s constant shifts is placing our anger, guilt, shame and blame on others.

We can stay trapped in this ‘otherness’ for a lifetime.

It is okay if we do.  We are human.

However, we can make freedom choices within our human framework that originate in awareness.  If we choose to be present as much as we are able, Truth might reach us today instead of tomorrow.

This is the practice.  This is life.

This is Everything.

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Complete Happiness

When your story begins, you do not choose the participants.  You make the best of who shows up.  You can dance, sing, cry, scream or in the worst cases, make yourself invisible all in the name of seeking outside validation within your story’s confines.

You can do this for as long as necessary, until your inner well empties and you feel as if you may die from thirst.  This thirst burns at you until you take ownership of what is going on inside your heart.

Grief.  Sorrow. Regret.

I have walked along the path of life with these as my companions.  I did my best to ignore them.  I ran faster, tried harder and configured myself into images I believed might make me lovable.

Nothing I did worked until one day exhaustion forced me to stop.  As I rested Grief, Sorrow and Regret finally caught up to me.

“Why are you running?” they asked.  “Where are you trying to go?”

To my freedom I told them.

“But that is not The Way.  Freedom is not a destination, it is an understanding.  It is not there, it is here.

Right here.

Always.”

I had not realized it yet but Grief, Sorrow and Regret had become my friends.  By talking to them and letting them have their say, they bestowed gifts upon me.

As I feel what needs to be felt and express what needs to leave me, I am learning the greatest lesson of all.

Even love unreciprocated heals us.  For every blind heart we have turned towards is a reminder that the only love we need is within us.

You are complete.

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The Slanted Rays of Healing

If the ground shifts beneath you it is okay to fall down.  You can stay there for as long as you need.

You do not need to try to get up.  In fact, it is better to feel where you are even if it hurts.

I am here in the dark.

It is in this inky bleakness I have discovered an immutable truth.

Even the depth of night holds unspeakable beauty.

Abundance is all around.  It is in the sky, written in the stars and stamped across the horizon.

Our hearts can hurt but our minds can turn to Love.

Pain levels have nothing to do with awakening.  We can hurt and awaken.  We can have peace and awaken.

We can be both and awaken.

Suffering exists for some and is pushed away by many.  For those awake enough to turn towards the discomfort, rays of healing slant their way in like sunbeams slicing through a window shutter.

It does not make the pain go away, but it might change our relationship to it.

A step back, a breath in and a heart turned inward;

this is where you find yourSelf.

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As True as You Are

Within this moment the Truth resides. It wants for nothing as it knows abundance beyond all form.

How does an ordinary person find this Truth?

The first steps are looking inside and listening to what the mind has to say. You may not like what you hear but at least you are noticing.

There is power in the noticing.

It is not up to you to change the mind.  It morphs at the speed of light.  It is rare anyone can catch it.  Even if you do cast a net wide enough to envelop your thoughts, they will slip through the openings to be replaced by the mind’s next great disaster.

There is power in letting thoughts be.

Fill your heart-stores up with compassion because as you let go of controlling your thoughts, fear may start to seep in and wash away your resolve.

It feels easier to revert to control when our feelings begin to surface.

For this moment, what if we gave ourselves permission to be exactly as we are?

Of course we would still be flawed in deep and interesting ways, but could we learn of a truer version of ourselves?

Give yourself five minutes a day where no change is required in thought, body or mind.

In these moments, what might you find?

Peace? Beauty? Love?

Each glimmer a lifeline towards hope and wholeness.

Already arrived and permanent.

As True as you are and always have been.

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Ignited

I lived and breathed fire.

It surrounded me.

Flames raged at uncertain intervals.  I never knew what the day held for me except for fear.

Every morning I would open my door with care and test the outside temperature.  Most days were cool, some days balmy and the worst days scorched at my soul.

I greeted this uncertainty by becoming my version of invisible.  Whatever beauty I held began to fade away.

The layers of soot and ash had cloaked my authenticity until even years and distance could not deny what I had lived. Until I could no longer deny living meant more than surviving.  It meant facing the fire in its entirety.  It meant walking through walls of flames for days and days.

I flailed through the heat and the hurt with everything I had.  Pain pounded at me from every angle.  I fell to the earth, folded myself over and waited for as long as it took.

Time blurred as the flames roared over me.

I did not recoil as I had no fight left in me.

If this was my ending, I had made my peace.

Through my pain I held onto this peace as it was always a notch beneath the fire that consumed me.  As I focused on it and not on my pain, the raging fire faded from view.

My heart glowed for the first time, lit from Within.

Quiet in its power the only burn remaining was Truth.

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Us

In knowing your Truth, be less concerned with the particulars and turn your awareness inward.  Within each of us is an indescribable something that watches everything and knows All.  When you are connected to this stillness your personal judgments lessen and a steady peace rises.  This peace fills every open space and beyond.

It is up to each and everyone of us to clear the way for this peace to bloom.

Some of us will clear our hearts so completely, we will become unrecognizable except to the few who have done their work.

This work is not for everyone.  This work makes you far removed from personal contexts and attachments.  This work, if done to its full extent, heals everything.  It heals the One so the Many may find their Way.

The workers for peace look like you and me.

In fact, they are you and me.  Some of us Know this and most of us don’t.

For those of Us who Know, we leave behind all we thought we were to become what we actually are.

Free.

 

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