Tag Archive | peace

Loved

A perfect sky of endless blue greeted me with no judgment

Within its infinite reach, the sky held space for the changing weather

Rain, sleet or thunder moved through it unencumbered

No judgment

Could my soul become like the sky?

Could I hold my humanity, in all its heartbreak and sunshine, and still be endless?

I looked to the sky for validation.

The sky did not answer me.

Instead, its vastness descended upon me and washed away my wondering

It did not change me or challenge me

It only welcomed all that I was, all that I am and all that I might be

Part sky and part Truth

Endless and finite

Beauty and fear

Held tightly and set free

Loved.

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Truth Lives

I was under the impression that to awaken, the body was something to overcome.  I spent my time fighting with its tendency towards fear, anxiety and the physical manifestations of these states.  This battle raged for many months and years until one day it stopped.  The fear, anxiety and physical manifestations did not, but the resistance to them lessened.   As my grip fell away from manipulating the body’s experience, this is when peace would visit.

The mind will be frantic at first without a problem to solve.  It will buck against the framework of simply being.

It will want to move, to alter, to make better or more.  It will hate to be still.

Invite this resistance to come sit at your table.  Offer it a chair.  Let it be wild with its anger.  Let it try to scare you into action.  Let it do whatever it wants.

Beyond this chaos lives the Truth.

No need to reach.  No need to strain.

Truth lives.

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The Shift

Let’s get back to you.

Let’s get back to your story.

What are you telling yourself right now?

Take a deep breath and pause.

Listen.

Really listen to your story.

Is it kind?  Are roots of compassion flowing through it?  Is it scary?  Are there judgments of less-than and not-good-enough swimming through your head?

We are taught from a very young age to believe everything our minds tell us.

What if these thoughts weren’t true?

Would you feel freedom or terror?

Maybe both?

By observing the thoughts rumbling through our heads we make room for grace.

Who or what is watching these thoughts?

Is it you?  Is it me?

Is it all of Us?

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The Deep Center of Night

In the deep center of night, joy resides.  It may not feel that way as you toss and turn feeling suffocated by the weight of the world, but it is there.

Waiting.

If sleep evades you, maybe peace is knocking on your door.

If you are able, step back from the stories of your mind and watch.

Watch how your mind imagines painful situations from the past while projecting fear onto your future.  Notice that neither are true.

In this moment, you are tucked in bed breathing in and breathing out.

Nothing more and nothing less.

Let the mind do what it wants.

It can only hurt you if you believe what it is telling you.

Question everything.

Keep the thoughts that Love you.

For Love is what you Are.

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True Selves

Remembering your True Self is harrowing. You have to overcome incredible obstacles. The pain will be great. It will leave you exhausted, alone and searching for answers.

The pain lessens when the searching stops.

There are no answers to find, only Love to remember.

If Truth has found you, if it has slipped past the fortress of self-identification, there is nothing more to do.

For most of us Truth Seekers, our identity will be dismantled over time. It is so painful at first, you may attempt to do more to relieve the suffering of transcending the self. The goals of peace, contentment and joy will propel you to action.

Real Truth has no goal.

It simply is.

It exists on a plane without words, thought or doing of any kind.

Once you begin to identify that all the doing in the world will not expedite your process to Peace, that is when the healing starts to show up.

The challenges in your life remain the same but you are invested in them less.

This lessening of attachment is gradual at first but will pick up momentum.

Soon enough, you will relinquish any doing and hand it over to Truth.

Truth was always in the driver’s seat.

Maybe it is time to let go and watch the scenery pass by.

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Standing in the Ordinary

Even though I experience Truth easily and often, I still struggle to grasp that I am awakening.  There are not a lot of ‘regular’ people talking about their Knowing of Truth.

Yet, here I am.  Standing on the cusp of enlightenment with barely a roadmap to lead the way.

I am making it up as I go.

There is a great vacillation that occurs on this path.  This is also rarely identified or discussed.  Either you are awake or you are not.

But, what if I am awake some days and not the others?

This leads to pain and confusion.  Why are there days of complete peace and days of complete suffering?

It is a process.

It is okay to get it ‘wrong’ some days and not have all the answers.

Be thankful for the ‘regular’ parts of your ‘regular’ life.  They are the glue that is holding your sense of self together until it is safe to shed your identity completely.

“In today’s society, most of us having these realizations are not living in monasteries; we are not in a particularly supportive environment.  In fact, in our society it is possible to have an amazing realization on Saturday and be back in the office Monday morning.”

-Adyashanti

‘The End of Your World’

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Dismantled Illusion

I often wondered why the spiritual path was so painful for me.  Starting out, I thought it would relieve suffering, but initially, and for a years’ long stretch of time, it made my suffering worse.

Why was that?

When I first stumbled into Oneness, I felt the Peace that lived there.  It enveloped my soul and my inner turmoil diminished to a great degree.  I thought I could live from this experience permanently.

It did not work that way.

Instead, I was dropped back into my separate experience.  It was more painful than ever because I had experienced Truth.  I had pulled back the veil of illusion and I could not take away this Knowing.

Trying to live as a separate, small self seemed wrong somehow.

“In fact, it is much more painful to act in a way that we know is not true once we’ve seen that it is not true.”

-Adyashanti 

‘The End of Your World’

Now that I am farther on the path, it is still painful attempting to live as separate, but I do not mind it as much as I did before.  Now, I allow the small self to have her experiences, her judgments and her fears.  Beyond this allowing is Truth always humming in the background.

I am less concerned how far this small self will go on her path of awakening.  Therefore, I am kinder to her and this is an easier way to exist as a separate self.

Truth is whole, it encompasses all.  It leaves no stone unturned or dark corner unlit.

I have done my part, Truth will undo the rest.

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