Tag Archive | oneness

Dismantled Illusion

I often wondered why the spiritual path was so painful for me.  Starting out, I thought it would relieve suffering, but initially, and for a years’ long stretch of time, it made my suffering worse.

Why was that?

When I first stumbled into Oneness, I felt the Peace that lived there.  It enveloped my soul and my inner turmoil diminished to a great degree.  I thought I could live from this experience permanently.

It did not work that way.

Instead, I was dropped back into my separate experience.  It was more painful than ever because I had experienced Truth.  I had pulled back the veil of illusion and I could not take away this Knowing.

Trying to live as a separate, small self seemed wrong somehow.

“In fact, it is much more painful to act in a way that we know is not true once we’ve seen that it is not true.”

-Adyashanti 

‘The End of Your World’

Now that I am farther on the path, it is still painful attempting to live as separate, but I do not mind it as much as I did before.  Now, I allow the small self to have her experiences, her judgments and her fears.  Beyond this allowing is Truth always humming in the background.

I am less concerned how far this small self will go on her path of awakening.  Therefore, I am kinder to her and this is an easier way to exist as a separate self.

Truth is whole, it encompasses all.  It leaves no stone unturned or dark corner unlit.

I have done my part, Truth will undo the rest.

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Awakening in Stages

As humans, we arrive in our experience believing we are separate from our Source and from each other.  Some remember in an instant and are fully immersed in a sustained Truth that is unshakeable.  For the remainder of us on the path of awakening, remembering our True State comes to us in stages.

The first stage is an undoing of the illusory constructs of our personal identity.  This is where an internal shift begins and will not be stopped until our egos are completely undone.  Once you step beyond the small self, you can never fully return to it.

Then, in the second stage, you are caught in the uncertainty of not knowing what is real and what is not.  This can last for weeks, years, decades or sometimes a lifetime.  Give yourself compassion if this is where you are.  This is the most painful part of Remembering.  I have lived it.  It almost broke me apart into a million pieces.  Looking back I understand breaking down to near extinction was the point.  My identity had to be stripped away to nothing so I could experience Truth.

I am now entering the third phase of Remembering.  I am still a small self but I am no longer afraid of Truth.  Each day I am more and more willing to turn inward to the astounding Beauty within me.  I have less fear.  I have more peace.  The small self is healing in ways big and small.

When I am immersed in this Peace, I know Love like the back of my hand.  It holds me, it heals me, it sets me free.

I have only begun the real work of Awakening.  My purpose is to keep Remembering as much as I am able and share this Knowing with anyone who is ready to listen.

When it is time for you to listen, you will Know.

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Choices

Every day life presents us with a choice.  But first, we have to acknowledge this choice exists.  This realization could happen in an instant or take years of dismantling our beliefs.

Either way, the choice exists and when we are ready, we must select the one that fits us best.

This is simple but our minds may not be ready to see it as so.

I finally see the choices clearly.  One has me part of the world, fighting each day for peace in my heart.  The other holds the stairs that will transcend me beyond the world.  If I remain in the fight, it will appear I am not alone.  If I choose the stairs, it will appear I am completely alone.

The choices are real, but the assumptions I have about them are false.

The stairs hold True Connection.  The world holds everything else.

Either choice does not fit me.

Both break my heart in different ways.

I am not ready to choose.

I am adrift in my indecision.

All I am ready to do is honor my confusion.

So, I sit at this bend in my spiritual road and rest for a while.

All decisions in the world symbolically reflect exactly where I am.  If you are tired and you are confused, come and rest with me for a while.

We will wait here together.

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Home

When our roots are shaken, what remains is more True.

Life presents us with newness to remind of us of the eternal.

With sameness we are complacent and never question what our eyes see before us.

Our eyes report only illusions.

We may not be able to hold an answer our eyes can recognize, but fear not.

Our heart will know.

As true as the air we breathe, our dreams rest in safety.

All the way Home.

sW HOme

Courage is Contagious

What can change teach us?

Look around.

What is the same?

From one instant to the next the world pulses its transformation through us more quickly than a mind can process.

Every cell, every atom moving with energy to appear solid and true.

Nothing is static.

All things in a perpetual state of becoming.

That is why attachment to the outer world can leave us feeling empty.

If we know for certain that tomorrow will be different from today, where do we anchor ourselves?

Where does a wandering heart find solace?

What is true?

What is Truth?

If we are able to look within and began to answer these questions, life becomes more stable.

It’s as if by accepting that everything is false we finally come to know once and for all, Love is the only Truth that matters.

With this knowledge tucked in our pockets, we are safe.

And, courage washes over us, through us and around us.

Courage is contagious.

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A Tiny Spark

There comes a time on the path to enlightenment where we might question the progress.

We wonder if this feeling of standing still means that we have lost the Way entirely.

There is no need for worry.

In stillness as in motion, we are always where we need to be.

It is only when we begin judging ourselves or the path, that our journey slows considerably.

This is the trick of self-preservation.  The small self would rather indulge in defining the path and deeming it less-than or more-than instead of flowing towards freedom.

When we allow ourselves to get lost in the flow, less-than and more-than things still appear to happen, but we remain suspended in peace as we let these experiences pass through our awareness untouched by judgment.

But, if we must qualify our Light-minding ways to Knowing, we can hold tight to this truth:

“A tiny spark of willingness is all that is needed to embody Peace.”

You have done more than you know.

You have done more than was needed.

Rest well, fellow traveler.  The path needs us not, as we are the path.

We are the Way.

We are the Light.

Now go set the world ablaze.

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Nothing Was the Same

Dawn crept through the curtains and stirred her to wakefulness.  The haze of sleep clung to her and made her forget, at least for a second or two, that nothing was the same.

In a rush that left her breathless, she remembered.

Her world was like an upside-down snow globe that shook with fury.  She could not right herself no matter how hard she tried.

Nothing was the same.

Where she lived, who she knew and even the sky above her kept changing and swirling.

Whatever she grasped left as quickly as it arrived.

Nothing was the same.

Her heart burst open to the newness that surrounded her every breath, her every step.

Life was transforming for her.  Life was leading her to a brighter awareness.  One that relied less on things not changing and more on the things that do.

Change made her wary but it also made her strong.

She was not ready to see her rebirth in those first rays of the morning sunlight.  She only could accept that nothing was the same.

She snuggled down deep into the folds of her bedclothes and made a promise to herself.

If the snow globe that contained her life needed to unfurl in unexpected ways, she would not judge where or how the pieces settled.

All she had to do was let them do so without interference.

Her fate was no longer hers.

She exhaled.

That was all she could do.

 

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