Tag Archive | mindfulness

Beauty is Nigh

I have been climbing this mountain for a while now.  The path is uncertain and jagged rocks claw at my boots causing countless falls.

I am covered in dirt.

I am tired.

Yet, I keep going, keep pushing.  I am bound to break through to the light.

Hard work means success.

Hard work means success?

Why do I not see the progression?

Where is the top?  Is it buried in the clouds?  Will it never lend itself to me?

I have to keep going.

Think positive.  Be brave.  Keep moving towards the light.

My legs ache with exertion, my back caves into the pressure.  I am not sure how much further I can go.

In my tired confusion my eyes skim an upturned root a second too late.   I crash face first into the mud-covered path.  Pain sears through my skull as it connects to the ground beneath me.

I am jolted to a dead-stop.

Fear immediately washes over me.  No one has ever given me permission to quit.  All the heroes’ journeys are about motion.  Movement.  Doing.  Slaying. Fighting for your Life.

What about a journey that stops right in the middle?

Did I fail?

Am I a failure?

I give up completely.

The pain is too great to continue.

I have nothing more to give as this path has robbed me of my hope.

I flip myself over and sit squarely upon the very root that upended me.

My head tilts forwards as the tears begin to catch at my feet, mingling with the puddles and earth below me.

Out of the corner of a tear-stained eye, I notice movement. A cardinal flutters nearby.  The bright red punctures the landscape with truth.

Once my eyes affix to it, she gently floats away so my gaze aligns with the path behind us.

All I see is beauty.

All I am is beauty.

The light filters in through the towering pines that flank the pathway.  This light dapples and dances across the greenery before us.

As I soak in the majesty around me, I understand that the only fear I was running from was my own.  This fear masked a deep, guarded pain that I keep hidden by always moving.

I have to stop running.

It is time to be still.

The only thing running gets you is tired.

Beauty is already here.

mariannewilliamson1

 

 

Drop the Illusion

Once upon a moment in the story of time and space, I believed that I could change.  I believed that what I did would impact outcomes and shape the tides of transformation.

This was a lot of work.

I was so busy, and by design, that my ‘work’ to control my life consumed me.

One day, as I set about my work to make my life what I wanted, the veil of illusion lifted.

Life was unfolding and I was simply along for the ride.

While I am grateful to know this and happy to slow down my efforts of control, I have to accept the truths I have been avoiding.

My life may not change to the story I want.

I may not find peace or be free from fear.

Yet, in acceptance of what is, I am finding a degree of freedom.  Inaction is a balm to my overtaxed soul.

With this acceptance, hidden pain I had long ago buried has floated its way back to my awareness.

Instead of working hard to eliminate this pain, I am letting it be, letting it unfold.

Letting it teach me.

Drop the Illusion