Tag Archive | mind

The Tunnel of Life

In the tunnel of life we are always told to keep facing forward. Our eyes must remain fixed in place at all costs. Even on our most broken days, we must keep marching towards the tunnel’s illuminated endpoint.

The light at the end of the tunnel holds the All of Everything we need to finally be whole. Redemption awaits us there. The banquet tables of celebration are set in anticipation of our arrival.

We are not to question anything. We are not to notice that the light seems to move farther from us with each step. The light is not for the weary of faith. It is for the believers. Believers never question.

Eyes forward, no questions.

Keep marching.

The world and its wisdom shouts at us to keep trudging. Even if we stumble and twist our ankle, we grab some crutches and go.

The light waits for no one.

We march in packs mostly, but today, as exhaustion settles into me, I find myself unable to keep pace. At first, I slow my gait. Eventually, when this does not quell my malaise, I come to a halt.

I am not going to make it to the light.

My hands scrape down the tunnel as I fold my legs into a seat on the floor.

It is cold. It is damp.

It reeks of utter defeat.

I try to comfort myself. I gave it everything I had.

It was not enough.

I begin to accept the quiet possibility that I am not enough. I am not made for this journey. The light is not meant for me.

My heart drops low in my chest. As my senses adjust to the absence of light, a spark at the edge of my despair catches my eye. Fear forces me to avert my gaze.

Yet, it is persistent.

Soon, the all of my sadness is alight with bursting, blinding, brightness. It fills my being, my heart, and my soul. The entire tunnel is shining. I am able to see in all directions. The past, the present, the future.

As I take in this new source of light, I notice for the first time the full magnificence of the tunnel as it is.

Right here, right now.  This moment, this beauty.

It is everything.

Until now, I never considered the tunnel was beauty.  No one ever said the tunnel itself was beautiful.

If I never make it out, I have enough right here to sustain me.  Here I am fed by eternal, untouchable beauty and reminded of my inner light.

The tunnel and I are one.

The tunnel is the light.

Therefore, I am the light.

I am the light.

I have always been the light.

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An Ever-Widening Heart

Freedom from suffering.  This is what we all seek whether we admit it to ourselves or not.  On this seeker’s path we come to know this freedom by accepting life exactly as it finds us.  When we open wide to our inner experience and as the waves of emotion flow through us, all is transformed into Love.

For ourselves, this is a choice.  A way of being.  We decide we want to respond to the world instead of react to it.  Once this understanding takes hold in our hearts, our path is forever altered towards Truth.  We become living, breathing expressions of the is-ness of life.

Through us life becomes pure.

It is not an easy process.  It is not without pain but it holds great and everlasting purpose.

This is how we illuminate the way for those lost in the dark.  We become so intimate with the hidden fear and pain within us, we can look with wholeness at the hidden fear and pain of others.

We cannot prevent turmoil in another. If we could, they would lose the gifts embedded in their journey.  Though these gifts are unseeable in the moment, we trust they are there.  This is because we have walked through our own despair with open eyes and collected deeper heart wisdom.

We are only meant to walk along side the hurting other as a witness.

As Love Itself.

To hand back to them the possibility of growing in Truth, in wisdom and in an ever-widening heart.

Whether by chance or by grief, we all return Home.

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Complete Happiness

When your story begins, you do not choose the participants.  You make the best of who shows up.  You can dance, sing, cry, scream or in the worst cases, make yourself invisible all in the name of seeking outside validation within your story’s confines.

You can do this for as long as necessary, until your inner well empties and you feel as if you may die from thirst.  This thirst burns at you until you take ownership of what is going on inside your heart.

Grief.  Sorrow. Regret.

I have walked along the path of life with these as my companions.  I did my best to ignore them.  I ran faster, tried harder and configured myself into images I believed might make me lovable.

Nothing I did worked until one day exhaustion forced me to stop.  As I rested Grief, Sorrow and Regret finally caught up to me.

“Why are you running?” they asked.  “Where are you trying to go?”

To my freedom I told them.

“But that is not The Way.  Freedom is not a destination, it is an understanding.  It is not there, it is here.

Right here.

Always.”

I had not realized it yet but Grief, Sorrow and Regret had become my friends.  By talking to them and letting them have their say, they bestowed gifts upon me.

As I feel what needs to be felt and express what needs to leave me, I am learning the greatest lesson of all.

Even love unreciprocated heals us.  For every blind heart we have turned towards is a reminder that the only love we need is within us.

You are complete.

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As Silence Goes

As silence goes, it can only hold so much.  If you have not yet cleared away the muck, silence will slip away.

It is easy to avoid the quiet and lose yourself in the noise.  Noise makes little sense when filtered through the mind.

Noise becomes a message when filtered through silence.

Silence will break through the patterns until you are left with a singular truth.

You are hurting.

Someone hurt you.

You feel alone.

You are misunderstood.

You are not held in love.

All painful beliefs are symptoms of feeling separate.  None are more or less true, but the pain beneath them is real.

If we never allow our lives to pause, we will forever be at the mercy of our hidden beliefs and pain.

There will be times wise and loving action is required of us.

Yet, true alchemy begins in our stillness.

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Feathers

Strength is not defined by exertion alone.

There is fortitude in the pausing, gaping space around the fear of your experience.

Change is not the answer.

Being present with life as it is holds a unique kind of safety.

Even a plummeting cliff fall becomes Loving if we open our hearts beyond our minds.

The wider the opening, the softer the fall.

Let the wings of compassion catch you and waft you towards healing.

Light as a feather you may recall you are unbreakable.

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The Unfolding of Life

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When a problem arises, we are conditioned to ‘think our way through it’.  If we spend enough time and effort reshaping our life based on what our minds tell us to do, eventually life will submit to our will.

But what if it does not?  What if the harder we try to problem-solve or the deeper we delve into logic, we are still stuck with the exact same life and the exact same conflicts.

Maybe our life is not a problem to be solved.  What if life is simply an unfolding we need to experience without interference?

In its unfolding, we welcome All.

Everything expresses to its fullness.

When this happens, sometimes what we label as ‘ugly’ tumbles into beauty.

Maybe it’s time to let life be.

“We can’t understand the nature of reality until we let go of controlling our experience.”

-True Refuge: Finding Peace and Freedom in Your Own Awakened Heart (Tara Brach)

 

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The Shift

Let’s get back to you.

Let’s get back to your story.

What are you telling yourself right now?

Take a deep breath and pause.

Listen.

Really listen to your story.

Is it kind?  Are roots of compassion flowing through it?  Is it scary?  Are there judgments of less-than and not-good-enough swimming through your head?

We are taught from a very young age to believe everything our minds tell us.

What if these thoughts weren’t true?

Would you feel freedom or terror?

Maybe both?

By observing the thoughts rumbling through our heads we make room for grace.

Who or what is watching these thoughts?

Is it you?  Is it me?

Is it all of Us?

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The Deep Center of Night

In the deep center of night, joy resides.  It may not feel that way as you toss and turn feeling suffocated by the weight of the world, but it is there.

Waiting.

If sleep evades you, maybe peace is knocking on your door.

If you are able, step back from the stories of your mind and watch.

Watch how your mind imagines painful situations from the past while projecting fear onto your future.  Notice that neither are true.

In this moment, you are tucked in bed breathing in and breathing out.

Nothing more and nothing less.

Let the mind do what it wants.

It can only hurt you if you believe what it is telling you.

Question everything.

Keep the thoughts that Love you.

For Love is what you Are.

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The Stream

The girl is thirsty.  She follows everyone to the well.  She watches as each person sends their bucket deep into the darkness.  They retrieve the water they need.

It is never quite enough.

When the girl attempts to gather water for her seeming insatiable thirst, her bucket often comes up empty.

She looks to the others for guidance, for comfort, for some way of knowing that her bucket will be filled beyond measure.

They cannot answer her.  They are too busy trying to keep their own buckets filled.

They are doing their best.

The girl, in her heart, knows there is more to be found.  More water, more love, more safety.

Just more.

Of everything.  Where truth shines and burdens are lifted.

Where enough water flows for everyone.

She leaves the well behind and all the people.  She sets out on her own path.  She sees a hill calling out to be climbed.

She answers with determined steps.

She picks up speed and her effort grows.

Until finally, she reaches the peak.  Her momentum tumbles her down the other side.

She lands and the soft earth catches her.

Then, she sees it.

A beautiful, bubbling stream of clear fresh water.  There is more than enough here for her.  There is enough for everyone.

She rushes back to share this good fortune, but no one believes her.  They like the well water.  They trust it.

No one likes change.

The girl leaves them to their work.  She knows they will find the stream when they are ready.

She makes her way back to the water’s edge.  Love washes over her and fear slips away.

She is safe.

The stream is Everything.

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The Wave of Realization

 

As a self in this unpredictable world the suffering experienced by this mind was intense.  The combination of enduring great loss, experiencing constant uncertainty and never quite belonging, broke this mind through the illusory nature of life.

For many months and years, this mind has been in a vice-grip of contradiction.  Stuck in-between, believing in the world and at other times peacefully transcending it.

This mind lives two separate experiences.

I am gradually starting to prefer my Freedom-state.  You might imagine this is the easy choice.  For some it is.  It is sudden, whole and permanent.  This mind’s process is slower, but seems to be picking up momentum.

If you have started on the path and it hurts, I understand.  We may never reach full realization, but even the tiniest glow of Truth is worth it.

You may still suffer, as I do, but it begins to matter less because Beauty grows louder with each breath.  Until it becomes so loud it is all our souls can hear.

This Knowing will sustain us.

Quote On Enlightenment A Bundle Of Joy And Peace 21 Inspiring Quotations From Thich Nhat

 

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