Tag Archive | Meditation

This Mind’s Truth

Do you ever wonder why sitting in stillness is so hard?

This is where Truth lives.

Not the temporary kind you apply to life in an attempt to connect its fragmented logic, but rather, this is the Truth that transcends life.

I have accepted this Truth as a part of my experience.  It was sheer terror opening my mind to it because within its parameters, I ceased to exist.  Yet in the absence of my existence, I somehow observed the Truth.  It cannot be articulated.  It can only be experienced.

While I am more accepting that this mind opened a doorway to Truth, as a personal self, it is a very challenging awareness to play out on the stage of humanity.

I am somewhere in the middle.  I do not fully identify as a personal self anymore, however, it is the only identity in which I can relate.

It may be why strangers share their souls with me.  On some level, they know that I understand there is more to us than what meets the eye.

Once I started to accept that Divinity lived in my awareness, I began to panic.  If I knew the Truth, I had to share the Truth.

Slowly, over time, I have come to know that what I do will not impact the outcome of Truth.

Truth will come to each of us in its own way, in its own time.

I do not have to change anyone’s personal perspective, not even my own.

spiritual Writes March 25

 

 

The Water Underneath

In difficult relationships or situations, the trick of the tiny self is to analyze to the point of exhaustion.  Somehow, we falsely believe, if we could figure things out it will magically improve everything.  You might try new angles, new avenues and search for answers by asking someone you trust.  Maybe, just maybe, if we try a little bit more, a peaceful resolution will settle over us and we will ride off into the sunset happy with ourselves and the world.

It’s not true.

The only truth is to observe what hurts you the most and let it be.

This doesn’t mean you won’t eventually be inspired to act, but it stops you from looking outside yourself for the answers.

Let the frustration be.

Let the situation touch all your trigger points in your heart.

Let the person who befuddles you continue on their path.

Let it all unfold.

In my experience, once our analytical minds pause, the pain we have hidden from ourselves arises.

We have been taught pain is unacceptable.

It’s not true.

Pain is as welcome in our awareness as any other feeling, thought or emotion.

Pain just is.

Stop trying to change it, or diminish it.

Let it be.

Let it unfold.

 

“Our lives are like icebergs; most people pay attention just to the part above water, but what is really going on happens underneath the water level of everyday awareness.”

-Mary O’Malley

What’s in the Way Is the Way

Let Me Explain

let me explain SW

 

It feels important to express my intention isn’t to convince anyone who reads this to believe in something beyond themselves.  My hope is by sharing my experiences, if someone happens to believe there is more to life than life, then maybe we can journey forth together.

If I had it my way, I’d keep the body a central figure in my spiritual quest.  It is all I have known.  It is the only framework I have been taught.  I get it.  I am a body.  You are a body.  It makes sense.

Until it doesn’t.

It may happen to you, or it won’t.

I am not here to judge your experiences or your path.

For me it happened.

Undeniable, repeated experiences inexplicable in a personal context.

Am I crazy?

Maybe.

Or, maybe I’m discovering what is most true about our(selves).

We are One.

We happen to be experiencing a split-off version of our Oneness.

It’s hard imagining we are doing this thing called life alone.

I’m here to offer another way, to ponder something different, to explore the context of the self in a beyond state.

It is incapable of being captured by words.

I don’t know exactly what I am doing or where I’m going.

If you have the answers that work well for your life and your self, I embrace it all with love.

I know you are exactly where you need to be.

Even when we feel lost.

 

Illumination

If you happen to think there is something within you unexpressed whether it’s art, thought, deed or dance, it’s time to let it out.  Be unafraid of the world’s reception of it.

Where does the fear originate?

Not fitting in?

Rejection?

Being alone?

Let me ask you this, by suppressing this within magic, does this support you in feeling alive, connected and whole?  Or do you feel though you are surrounded by many…. few, maybe none, appreciate the truest version of you?

Take some risks.

The anticipation of failure is far worse than anything that may or may not happen as a result.

Even if you fail to a proportion not yet imagined, this would fade with time.

As soon as you read these words and thoughts they are gone from the page.

Maybe the goal isn’t ‘success’ or acceptance.

Maybe the goal should be something more universal.

Maybe the goal should be love.

If we create and express from our true compass of internal light, however it lands in the world is perfect.

Whenever I write I let love lead me.

You can choose to receive it or let it go.

Both responses equal in that they both are impermanent.

If a flutter of love floats near you as a result of my wording or imagery…truth has been served, my purpose fulfilled.  Even if you aren’t ready to receive it yet, the doorway to love may have moved a millimeter towards truth.  All I can do is my work, and if it happens to help you do yours, that’s a natural by-product of the work itself.  It isn’t me, it isn’t you, it’s ALL of us.

I can rest my pen and my heart knowing I tried.

What is trying but another form of illumination?

Illumination

The Stages of the Path

A spiritual path is not chosen.  It is given to everyone.  Every single one of us has the chance to journey inward to our highest self, or remain trapped in the machinations of the seemingly unfixable external world.  Honestly, I’m not comfortable with either, but the inward path, while currently quite painful, makes more sense to me than anything that unfolds in the world.

The first stage is recognizing that we are more than our bodies.  That part is easy.  Once our self-identified egos realize that we are open to the Truth beyond our personal selves, this is where it becomes treacherous.  Most of us abandon the path at the first sign of trouble.  That is okay.  Whatever you do or don’t do aligns perfectly with however the eventual awakening of the planet happens.  Do not worry one bit if going inward hurts too much because believe me, it does.  Maybe some day you will be ready, maybe some day you won’t, you are perfect right where you are at.  As much as I’ve tried to avoid going beyond the self, it hurts me more not to.  So, I keep going, one painful step at a time.  On to the next stage…

This is where you understand that there are two thought systems in your mind.  One that is full of judgment, blame, guilt, fear, comparison, lack…these all are personal self-ways to stay mired in the story of life.  The other thought system is LOVE.  This isn’t love in the traditional sense (as related to a personal self or selves).  This love doesn’t transform the outer world, this is the love that transcends it.  Very different.  This is the love that accepts the world exactly as it is because it is beyond the world.  This probably doesn’t make a lot a sense, that’s the trap built into it.  It seems to make no sense to keep the personal self denying the Truth. Even slightly entertaining the thought of something beyond the self might make you angry, upset or spark a myriad of malaise and maladies.  If it seems like too much trouble, then it is.  Let it go and if being a self in the world works for you, then keep going as you are.  Nothing to change, nothing to do, all is well.  However, if something inside you is recognizing even a tiny speck of the truth beyond the veil of the world, then you might make it your life’s work to consciously discern from the two thought systems in your mind.  If you do this, it is the hardest work you will ever do.  Your personal self will fight you tooth and nail.  It will be subtle, sneaky, overt, mean, seductive, and whatever else it can throw at you to keep you engaged in its story.  The personal self knows if you are outwardly focused on making the story of your life different, better, shinier… then you don’t have to do the work of letting it all go.

The next stage is the letting go part.  I’m not there yet so all I can write about is what I imagine this to look like.  This is where the thought system of love wins all the time.  There is no need or desire to change the self, the world or anyone or anything all.  This is where we are liberated from thinking we need to change anything about ourselves.  There is nothing wrong with us.  The only idea that is wrong is that we believe something that isn’t true.  We are more than our bodies.  Believing we aren’t is the source of all our pain, separation and angst.  However, I will say this again, if you are at peace with the story of your life and the world as is, it is okay to stick with it.  On the other hand, if something feels off or like you will never quite belong here, maybe consider the inward path.

I used to think that it was all up to me.  It’s not.  It is inevitable.  We all awaken in our own time and at our own pace.  This I know for sure.

“The more scared we are of a work or calling, the more sure we can be that we have to do it.”

-Steven Pressfield, The War of Art

Show Up

If your life has unraveled enough and you are open to searching for Truth, it actually is fairly simple.  Each day make time to meditate.  If you haven’t done so before, I imagine some resistance may be creeping its way into your awareness.  The good news is, being a novice is completely acceptable.  In fact, that might even be an advantage.  There won’t be as many preconceived expectations of what mediation time will look like.  Expectations that go unmet often lead us away from our True Path.

The most important aspect of meditating is that you make a daily commitment to it.  You only have to show up.  Every. Single. Day. 

It may take some time to find what allows you to connect to the space between thoughts.  This could be any number of things.  Relaxing music, a mantra, opening your eyes, closing your eyes, sitting with legs crossed, using religious texts and passages that resonate…basically anything that gives you permission to fully immerse yourself in the Now.  It also might be helpful to know that the things that work today, may not work tomorrow.  This only means you need to be open to new ways to connect to Truth.

When I first started meditating daily, I did so with a purpose.  While I could feel the Truth inside me, I believed that I had to use it to make my life how I wanted.  This put me under tremendous pressure and I grew to dislike meditating, especially because my life wasn’t improving.  I felt like a failure.

As I have deepened my connection to Truth, I realized that Truth isn’t worried about what is going on in my personal life.

I hate that.

Instead, Truth is.

It just is.

I have stopped asking Truth for things.  I only show up and connect to the Love Within Me, which is the Love That Is Within All of Us and let go of the world.  This is extremely hard to do.  The showing up is easy.  The allowing the personal self to quiet and let go is very painful.  At least it is for me at this time.  I am hopeful that eventually Truth will shift me away from my attachment to the world.  Meaning I will no longer rely on other people, places or things to align to my liking for me to have peace.  I will hopefully learn to let the world unfold as it should, and know with all that I Am that ALL IS WELL.

Peace doesn’t look like anything.  It only can be experienced.

What will you make time for today?

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