Tag Archive | heartbreak

The Tunnel of Life

In the tunnel of life we are always told to keep facing forward. Our eyes must remain fixed in place at all costs. Even on our most broken days, we must keep marching towards the tunnel’s illuminated endpoint.

The light at the end of the tunnel holds the All of Everything we need to finally be whole. Redemption awaits us there. The banquet tables of celebration are set in anticipation of our arrival.

We are not to question anything. We are not to notice that the light seems to move farther from us with each step. The light is not for the weary of faith. It is for the believers. Believers never question.

Eyes forward, no questions.

Keep marching.

The world and its wisdom shouts at us to keep trudging. Even if we stumble and twist our ankle, we grab some crutches and go.

The light waits for no one.

We march in packs mostly, but today, as exhaustion settles into me, I find myself unable to keep pace. At first, I slow my gait. Eventually, when this does not quell my malaise, I come to a halt.

I am not going to make it to the light.

My hands scrape down the tunnel as I fold my legs into a seat on the floor.

It is cold. It is damp.

It reeks of utter defeat.

I try to comfort myself. I gave it everything I had.

It was not enough.

I begin to accept the quiet possibility that I am not enough. I am not made for this journey. The light is not meant for me.

My heart drops low in my chest. As my senses adjust to the absence of light, a spark at the edge of my despair catches my eye. Fear forces me to avert my gaze.

Yet, it is persistent.

Soon, the all of my sadness is alight with bursting, blinding, brightness. It fills my being, my heart, and my soul. The entire tunnel is shining. I am able to see in all directions. The past, the present, the future.

As I take in this new source of light, I notice for the first time the full magnificence of the tunnel as it is.

Right here, right now.  This moment, this beauty.

It is everything.

Until now, I never considered the tunnel was beauty.  No one ever said the tunnel itself was beautiful.

If I never make it out, I have enough right here to sustain me.  Here I am fed by eternal, untouchable beauty and reminded of my inner light.

The tunnel and I are one.

The tunnel is the light.

Therefore, I am the light.

I am the light.

I have always been the light.

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Thy Name is Love

Sometimes what is broken must remain so, but only for a little while.

We cannot make the pain of heartbreak leave us before it has transformed what needed mending. We may walk blindly through life for years not knowing we are holding onto beliefs that do not serve or heartache too painful to process.

For years.

The courage to face what is broken comes to us over time.  As we live through the ups and downs of life, our inner resources grow and our faith that life is in our favor expands.

So that pain you have been carrying, as it it surfaces, even though it feels like the world may be ending, is sending you a message.

This pain is your beauty.  It is where all that is True and Loving exist for you.  You are shedding beliefs that are hurtful.  Learn to sit with your heartbreak and let it tell its tale.  Let it rage at the unfairness of it all.  Let it mourn the relationships that are not meant to be.  Let it break itself apart until it is a glittering, jagged mess of edges and shards.  Until it is no longer recognizable.  Until you realize that you can rename it.

And that name is Love.

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