Tag Archive | Eckhart Tolle

This Mind’s Truth

Do you ever wonder why sitting in stillness is so hard?

This is where Truth lives.

Not the temporary kind you apply to life in an attempt to connect its fragmented logic, but rather, this is the Truth that transcends life.

I have accepted this Truth as a part of my experience.  It was sheer terror opening my mind to it because within its parameters, I ceased to exist.  Yet in the absence of my existence, I somehow observed the Truth.  It cannot be articulated.  It can only be experienced.

While I am more accepting that this mind opened a doorway to Truth, as a personal self, it is a very challenging awareness to play out on the stage of humanity.

I am somewhere in the middle.  I do not fully identify as a personal self anymore, however, it is the only identity in which I can relate.

It may be why strangers share their souls with me.  On some level, they know that I understand there is more to us than what meets the eye.

Once I started to accept that Divinity lived in my awareness, I began to panic.  If I knew the Truth, I had to share the Truth.

Slowly, over time, I have come to know that what I do will not impact the outcome of Truth.

Truth will come to each of us in its own way, in its own time.

I do not have to change anyone’s personal perspective, not even my own.

spiritual Writes March 25

 

 

Right Now

Everything holds the opportunity to open to the Divine.  Each day holds all that is needed to awaken.

It is important to remember enlightenment is not an instantaneous transformation.  It is years of consciously choosing to be fully present over and over until it sticks.  Even then, if you identify as a personal self, your work is not done.  It may seem a little easier with time and practice but it isn’t over.  It’s not over until it is.

There are a few that walk among us that appear farther along on their path.  There truly isn’t a way to measure spiritual growth.  Either you are open to Truth or you aren’t.  Both are acceptable ways of being in the world.  Where ever you are is perfection.

One thing that confounded me forever, was the idea that all we need to do is bring Presence to every aspect of our lives to transform it.  While this is true, I grappled with the idea that something as mundane as doing laundry was TRANSFORMATIVE.  Repetitive and mundane, yes,…transformative, no thank you.

The more I read about mindfulness and attempted to incorporate it into all facets of my life, the more confounded I felt.  No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t be peacefully attentive while doing tasks I hated (I’m still not).  I started to feel like a huge spiritual failure.

My understanding of being present is changing.  While I immensely dislike certain tasks throughout my day, I simply accept that I am uncomfortably bored by them.  Maybe you can relate to that feeling of wanting to be anywhere but where you are.  Maybe you understand that most of us will do all we can to avoid stillness at all costs.

What are we afraid of?

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Changing the World

I started on the inward path as a means to change my external world.  I tried desperately to translate the Truth of My Soul onto the world.  I didn’t understand how I could be aware of Everlasting Peace within me and not have it show up outside of me.  Turns out, I had the prayer equation backwards.  I thought that changing the outside is what allowed me to be at Peace.  Only this isn’t so.  Peace is now regardless of what my life looks like.

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This concept of ‘righting the inside’ to get the world I wanted eluded me for a long, long time.  It’s hard to let go and connect to the Love Within when your world is full of anxiety, darkness and despair.

As I have learned to embrace the process of going within, I am less angry that my life isn’t what I want it to be.  This is because there is a Love so Beautiful within me that when I connect to it, the world pales in comparison.

When I sit with this Beauty I am transcendent and so very Loved.  I not only have Joy, I am Joy.  I know all is well and that everyone has equal access to this inheritance of Everlasting Love.

Then, I come back to the world and survey the landscape of my life.  It doesn’t look any different and I still hurt deeply.

Yet,…

There is a lining of hope that colors my soul now.  Within my heart a wisdom has taken root and it comforts me.

My world isn’t changing.

Only how I am in the world has changed.

 

God’s Heartbeat

If I allow my thoughts to fall away, I can hear the heartbeat of God.

As God’s heartbeat speaks to me all the time, I mostly try to ignore it so I can fit into the world.  This takes a lot of work this ignoring of God’s heartbeat.  If I drop my fear and judgment either by choice or on accident, I connect to the Love within the heartbeat.  I’m not very good at staying there.  It’s a much different experience than being in the world.  While it is timeless, loving and peaceful, there isn’t anything there that a tiny self can understand.  Eventually, my tiny self gets uncomfortable in this vacuum of peace and returns to the world.  Each time I leave Love and return to the world, the harder it is to be in the world.  This is because now I know the world is no longer true.  Only Love is true.

The world is in constant change.  Nothing ever remains static.  There are ups and downs and twists and turns.  Something that changes constantly is not true.

God’s heartbeat is constant, eternal and never changes.  It is always true.

The choice is up to me, do I keep denying God’s heartbeat and lose myself in the turbulent, unpredictable story of the tiny self, or do choose the comforting constancy of Love?

Right now, choosing Love still seems too hard.  Why choose Love if I’m the only one who is there within the vacuum not able to understand it?  My tiny self is still afraid of its power.

For now, I go back and forth between these experiences.

I am Love, then I am not.

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Into the Well

My tiny self creeps to the edge of the well.  She looks down.  There isn’t a glimmer of light anywhere.  She sees only nothingness.

My True Self is there too.  She unfortunately fell headfirst into the well.  She managed to somehow maneuver herself to the side of the well.  She is there in the darkness clinging to the crevices of the slippery cool stones.  She is enveloped by the vacuum of night.  She is able to see up and out.  From her vantage point she sees her tiny self peering down at her, but she knows her tiny self can’t see her.  My True Self is completely alone.  She is in a panic.  She tries to shout, she tries to pray.  She considers trying to climb back up to her tiny self but she isn’t very strong and her tiny self is so far away.   It doesn’t take long for her to know she is stuck in the darkness.

My True Self then has a flash of vision.  In the vision she lets go.

That’s crazy.

That’s insane.

Who is stupid enough to let go and fall into the darkness?

The thought of letting go sends shooting icicles of fear from her limbs straight into her soul.

She will never let go.

After many years, my True Self tires.

She isn’t as committed to trying to reunite with her tiny self.

Maybe there’s another way.

Maybe it’s time to let go.

My True Self has another vision.  In it she lets go again.  She falls for a long, long time.

What is the fate that awaits her?

Turns out, it’s Total Safety.

There are pillows and beauty and Love.

Love awaits her if she will only be brave enough to let go.

 

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The Aliveness of All That Is

At any given moment, if I stop myself in time, I feel the energy of everything around me.  It is a constant buzzing that loops around me and through me.

I know I need to make peace with this energy.  I would prefer to be like everyone else and make my way in the world without noticing it.  I’m not sure, but most people I know of don’t feel this.  When I am brave enough to ask the questions, ‘Do you feel the energy of this tree?’ or ‘Can you feel your soul extending to infinity in all directions?’  The answer is no.

This makes me feel like a stranger in every aspect, angle and space my body seems to occupy in this world.

I don’t know why I feel this.  Mostly, I find it really exhausting and overwhelming.  I feel it right now as I type this.  An uncomfortable buzz that never leaves me.  I don’t know how to rest as a tiny self with this constant noise and bustle around me.

Here is an excerpt from an article I recently read about Eckhart Tolle that sums up what I perceive.

“Without perceiving things through the old filter of past conditioning and conceptualization, one can sense the universe is intensely alive.  Even so-called inanimate objects – I often pick up little objects and just look at them and sense they are alive.  Physicists actually confirm that what we perceive as dead matter is not dead at all.  Everything is an intensely alive energy field.  That aliveness is only an aspect of the aliveness or life that I am.”

-From ‘The Awakening of Eckhart Tolle’ by Paula Coppel,

(UNITY MAGAZINE)   Here’s the link to the entire interview:

Eckhart’s Interview

I have been running from this my entire life.  It is scary.  It is weird.  It solidifies me as a person who is never going to fit in.  This is my daily struggle.

I have to stop running.  I have to stop caring if you understand.  I can’t pretend any longer.  Why?  Because this constant aliveness-sensing WILL NOT STOP.

I am at fork in the road.  One way continues down a path where I feel everything but acknowledge nothing.  The other is I feel it, I acknowledge it and I share it cautiously with the world.

Thanks for walking the Path with me.