Tag Archive | buddhism

This Mind’s Truth

Do you ever wonder why sitting in stillness is so hard?

This is where Truth lives.

Not the temporary kind you apply to life in an attempt to connect its fragmented logic, but rather, this is the Truth that transcends life.

I have accepted this Truth as a part of my experience.  It was sheer terror opening my mind to it because within its parameters, I ceased to exist.  Yet in the absence of my existence, I somehow observed the Truth.  It cannot be articulated.  It can only be experienced.

While I am more accepting that this mind opened a doorway to Truth, as a personal self, it is a very challenging awareness to play out on the stage of humanity.

I am somewhere in the middle.  I do not fully identify as a personal self anymore, however, it is the only identity in which I can relate.

It may be why strangers share their souls with me.  On some level, they know that I understand there is more to us than what meets the eye.

Once I started to accept that Divinity lived in my awareness, I began to panic.  If I knew the Truth, I had to share the Truth.

Slowly, over time, I have come to know that what I do will not impact the outcome of Truth.

Truth will come to each of us in its own way, in its own time.

I do not have to change anyone’s personal perspective, not even my own.

spiritual Writes March 25

 

 

What If?

What if the harder you try to find Truth, the more elusive it becomes?

What if knowing the answers meant letting go of finding them?

What if peace comes when the self’s expression of pain and fear is simply allowed?

What if all you have been searching for was right here, right now, not even a breath away?

What if you could accept that everything was perfect, unfolding as a great story of time and space, even when it hurt and was inexplicable in its complexities?

What if Love is all there is?

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Soul Gardens

Each of us is given a small soul garden.  Our purpose is to nurture this parcel of emotional real-estate.  This is how its beauty is preserved and our spiritual wisdom grows.  This system works perfectly when we tend to only our garden and remember that the sun above is always there, loving us through triumph and tragedy.  When we forget about the sun, hardship ensues.  We feel lost and afraid so what do we do?  We start trying to tend to gardens other than the one right in front of us.  When this happens, we quickly pay a price.  Our little garden loses its luster and begins to wilt at the first signs of neglect.  The gardens beyond us in which we meddle and manipulate, begin to crumble away at the indignity.  If this continues, all the gardens of the world start to suffer.

The best we can do is remember the sun in all circumstances and continually remind ourselves to tend only to the soul garden we were given.

This is how love blooms.

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Let Me Explain

let me explain SW

 

It feels important to express my intention isn’t to convince anyone who reads this to believe in something beyond themselves.  My hope is by sharing my experiences, if someone happens to believe there is more to life than life, then maybe we can journey forth together.

If I had it my way, I’d keep the body a central figure in my spiritual quest.  It is all I have known.  It is the only framework I have been taught.  I get it.  I am a body.  You are a body.  It makes sense.

Until it doesn’t.

It may happen to you, or it won’t.

I am not here to judge your experiences or your path.

For me it happened.

Undeniable, repeated experiences inexplicable in a personal context.

Am I crazy?

Maybe.

Or, maybe I’m discovering what is most true about our(selves).

We are One.

We happen to be experiencing a split-off version of our Oneness.

It’s hard imagining we are doing this thing called life alone.

I’m here to offer another way, to ponder something different, to explore the context of the self in a beyond state.

It is incapable of being captured by words.

I don’t know exactly what I am doing or where I’m going.

If you have the answers that work well for your life and your self, I embrace it all with love.

I know you are exactly where you need to be.

Even when we feel lost.

 

The Stages of the Path

A spiritual path is not chosen.  It is given to everyone.  Every single one of us has the chance to journey inward to our highest self, or remain trapped in the machinations of the seemingly unfixable external world.  Honestly, I’m not comfortable with either, but the inward path, while currently quite painful, makes more sense to me than anything that unfolds in the world.

The first stage is recognizing that we are more than our bodies.  That part is easy.  Once our self-identified egos realize that we are open to the Truth beyond our personal selves, this is where it becomes treacherous.  Most of us abandon the path at the first sign of trouble.  That is okay.  Whatever you do or don’t do aligns perfectly with however the eventual awakening of the planet happens.  Do not worry one bit if going inward hurts too much because believe me, it does.  Maybe some day you will be ready, maybe some day you won’t, you are perfect right where you are at.  As much as I’ve tried to avoid going beyond the self, it hurts me more not to.  So, I keep going, one painful step at a time.  On to the next stage…

This is where you understand that there are two thought systems in your mind.  One that is full of judgment, blame, guilt, fear, comparison, lack…these all are personal self-ways to stay mired in the story of life.  The other thought system is LOVE.  This isn’t love in the traditional sense (as related to a personal self or selves).  This love doesn’t transform the outer world, this is the love that transcends it.  Very different.  This is the love that accepts the world exactly as it is because it is beyond the world.  This probably doesn’t make a lot a sense, that’s the trap built into it.  It seems to make no sense to keep the personal self denying the Truth. Even slightly entertaining the thought of something beyond the self might make you angry, upset or spark a myriad of malaise and maladies.  If it seems like too much trouble, then it is.  Let it go and if being a self in the world works for you, then keep going as you are.  Nothing to change, nothing to do, all is well.  However, if something inside you is recognizing even a tiny speck of the truth beyond the veil of the world, then you might make it your life’s work to consciously discern from the two thought systems in your mind.  If you do this, it is the hardest work you will ever do.  Your personal self will fight you tooth and nail.  It will be subtle, sneaky, overt, mean, seductive, and whatever else it can throw at you to keep you engaged in its story.  The personal self knows if you are outwardly focused on making the story of your life different, better, shinier… then you don’t have to do the work of letting it all go.

The next stage is the letting go part.  I’m not there yet so all I can write about is what I imagine this to look like.  This is where the thought system of love wins all the time.  There is no need or desire to change the self, the world or anyone or anything all.  This is where we are liberated from thinking we need to change anything about ourselves.  There is nothing wrong with us.  The only idea that is wrong is that we believe something that isn’t true.  We are more than our bodies.  Believing we aren’t is the source of all our pain, separation and angst.  However, I will say this again, if you are at peace with the story of your life and the world as is, it is okay to stick with it.  On the other hand, if something feels off or like you will never quite belong here, maybe consider the inward path.

I used to think that it was all up to me.  It’s not.  It is inevitable.  We all awaken in our own time and at our own pace.  This I know for sure.

“The more scared we are of a work or calling, the more sure we can be that we have to do it.”

-Steven Pressfield, The War of Art

The Buddha Heart

Having experienced the beyond-ness of all-that-is (which is something you can’t know until you do), I spend much effort trying to make sense of it.  My goal used to be enlightenment, but now it simply is to end my internal struggle.

“‘Enlightenment’ is just a spiritual concept. It’s just one more thing to seek in a future that never comes.”

-from A Mind at Home with Itself by Byron Katie and Stephen Mitchell (and quotes below)

I am relieved that there is no goal to attain.  Any goal we imagine for ourselves is simply a way to stay married to the dream of our seeming existence.  The present moment is gone as soon as we notice it.  Goals are equally elusive…gone as soon as they appear to be realized.

“If you’re trying to monitor your progress on your spiritual path—if you think you have any idea how far along you are—you might want to save yourself the trouble.  There’s no attainment, because you already are what you want to become.”

As I am adjusting my mindset to the letting go of not only enlightenment, but all the concepts my mind appears to create, the conflict within me remains fierce.  However, suffering has a purpose.

“Suffering is what creates buddhas.”

Therefore I remain steadfast on my journey towards freedom knowing I have no goal, timeline or ‘right’ thoughts to think.  I only have to let the dream unfold.  If the dream is painful I give thanks.  If the dream is joyful I give thanks.  I give thanks to all and to everything until I don’t even do that.

What remains after that is truth.