Tag Archive | awareness

New Beginnings

What if today, if only for a moment, there was a total trust in life’s unfoldment?

Could you rest?

I cannot make any promises for you on life’s behalf.

Life knows better than we do.

Pain and loss often teach us more than laughter and joy.

Collect each experience, as best as you can, and place them in the basket of your soul.  The depth of these experiences will soon surpass your need for happiness.

For happiness is fleeting and leaves as quickly as it arrives.

Truth, the kind that holds our being together through the storms, can only find us when life is unexpected.

This is how we stretch and grow.

This is why endings sometimes hurt us.

All we have is this moment.

Best to leave the rest up to tomorrow.

 

 

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Beauty is Nigh

I have been climbing this mountain for a while now.  The path is uncertain and jagged rocks claw at my boots causing countless falls.

I am covered in dirt.

I am tired.

Yet, I keep going, keep pushing.  I am bound to break through to the light.

Hard work means success.

Hard work means success?

Why do I not see the progression?

Where is the top?  Is it buried in the clouds?  Will it never lend itself to me?

I have to keep going.

Think positive.  Be brave.  Keep moving towards the light.

My legs ache with exertion, my back caves into the pressure.  I am not sure how much further I can go.

In my tired confusion my eyes skim an upturned root a second too late.   I crash face first into the mud-covered path.  Pain sears through my skull as it connects to the ground beneath me.

I am jolted to a dead-stop.

Fear immediately washes over me.  No one has ever given me permission to quit.  All the heroes’ journeys are about motion.  Movement.  Doing.  Slaying. Fighting for your Life.

What about a journey that stops right in the middle?

Did I fail?

Am I a failure?

I give up completely.

The pain is too great to continue.

I have nothing more to give as this path has robbed me of my hope.

I flip myself over and sit squarely upon the very root that upended me.

My head tilts forwards as the tears begin to catch at my feet, mingling with the puddles and earth below me.

Out of the corner of a tear-stained eye, I notice movement. A cardinal flutters nearby.  The bright red punctures the landscape with truth.

Once my eyes affix to it, she gently floats away so my gaze aligns with the path behind us.

All I see is beauty.

All I am is beauty.

The light filters in through the towering pines that flank the pathway.  This light dapples and dances across the greenery before us.

As I soak in the majesty around me, I understand that the only fear I was running from was my own.  This fear masked a deep, guarded pain that I keep hidden by always moving.

I have to stop running.

It is time to be still.

The only thing running gets you is tired.

Beauty is already here.

mariannewilliamson1

 

 

Drop the Illusion

Once upon a moment in the story of time and space, I believed that I could change.  I believed that what I did would impact outcomes and shape the tides of transformation.

This was a lot of work.

I was so busy, and by design, that my ‘work’ to control my life consumed me.

One day, as I set about my work to make my life what I wanted, the veil of illusion lifted.

Life was unfolding and I was simply along for the ride.

While I am grateful to know this and happy to slow down my efforts of control, I have to accept the truths I have been avoiding.

My life may not change to the story I want.

I may not find peace or be free from fear.

Yet, in acceptance of what is, I am finding a degree of freedom.  Inaction is a balm to my overtaxed soul.

With this acceptance, hidden pain I had long ago buried has floated its way back to my awareness.

Instead of working hard to eliminate this pain, I am letting it be, letting it unfold.

Letting it teach me.

Drop the Illusion

 

 

Everything

Would you believe me if I told you that each of us has a powerful destiny within us waiting for permission to unfold?

I have found when I resist what is the Truth of Me, I have a lot of painful chatter roiling within my mind.  When I let go of how I would like to be different in this world, this is when a modicum of peace comes to me.

I have not fully embraced my spiritual destiny.  This path is hard, but I make it worse by ignoring the sign posts.  When I attempt to create a new path, I end up at a dead end.

A thousand times over.

Apparently, I am a very slow learner.

When I stop judging who I am and what I am meant to be, namely a mystic-minded soul who feels more than she can articulate, my way eases a bit and the path to Truth becomes a little more smooth.

I may still not like this path, but there is less drama.  Less drama means more focus inward.  More focus inward means more peace.  More peace means, well, everything.

buddha1

Paradox

The Way that can be spoken of is not the true way.

-Lao Tzu

I used to believe if I studied hard enough and tried my very best, I would finally understand why this self feels like a shadow of True Being.

Within this struggle words would clash with other words, and thoughts would loop around endlessly in bewilderment.  The harder I tried to master understanding, the further it was from my grasp.

I have found that answers come to me when I let go of them.

1699938-Lao-Tzu-Quote-To-hold-you-must-first-open-your-hand-Let-go

If there is struggle, then answers will not reveal themselves.

Learn to be comfortable in the not knowing.

You are growing.  You are changing.

Trust in that.

If your life does not fit what you feel on the inside, be patient.

As we stretch towards enlightenment, we are bound to feel disoriented.  We are learning Oneness when all we have ever known is the individual experience of being separate.

I know we are One, but the fact that I am articulating this as an individual being defeats this knowing.

Therein, lies the ultimate paradox of existence.

The Blue Sky

The small girl shaded her eyes with her hand as she looked up at the expanse of the sky overhead.  It never ceased to amaze her.

This sky was so beautiful.

It was so blue.

Blue was her favorite color.

In the sky her soul could soar.  It could be as big as it needed to be.  She was without limits.

Finally, something matched how she felt on the inside.  It was a relief to find something in the world that mirrored a little of how she felt.  Nothing else did.

Eventually, as a self in the world tends to do, she learned about science and realized the sky was every color except blue.

from How Do We See Color? pantone.com:

Newton observed that color is not inherent in objects. Rather, the surface of an object reflects some colors and absorbs all the others. We perceive only the reflected colors.

Thus, red is not “in” an apple. The surface of the apple is reflecting the wavelengths we see as red and absorbing all the rest.

 

How could the sky not be blue?

It was as if everything she believed was no longer real.

Because it wasn’t.

As she grew into womanhood, the same thing happened to her when she began to understand the world around her was everything she thought it was not.

She thought it was real.

It is not.

Things that are real are immovable, unchanging and eternal.

Nothing in the world falls into these categories.

Everything we see and experience shifts and changes.

Who were you ten years ago?

Where did that person go?

Since we no longer are those people, does that mean they never existed?

Maybe what is real can only be found in the present moment.

Blink and that is over too.

Until we know for ourselves what is real and what is not, let us not forget to gaze upon the things that we love and pray they lead us home.

 

 

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This Mind’s Truth

Do you ever wonder why sitting in stillness is so hard?

This is where Truth lives.

Not the temporary kind you apply to life in an attempt to connect its fragmented logic, but rather, this is the Truth that transcends life.

I have accepted this Truth as a part of my experience.  It was sheer terror opening my mind to it because within its parameters, I ceased to exist.  Yet in the absence of my existence, I somehow observed the Truth.  It cannot be articulated.  It can only be experienced.

While I am more accepting that this mind opened a doorway to Truth, as a personal self, it is a very challenging awareness to play out on the stage of humanity.

I am somewhere in the middle.  I do not fully identify as a personal self anymore, however, it is the only identity in which I can relate.

It may be why strangers share their souls with me.  On some level, they know that I understand there is more to us than what meets the eye.

Once I started to accept that Divinity lived in my awareness, I began to panic.  If I knew the Truth, I had to share the Truth.

Slowly, over time, I have come to know that what I do will not impact the outcome of Truth.

Truth will come to each of us in its own way, in its own time.

I do not have to change anyone’s personal perspective, not even my own.

spiritual Writes March 25