Tag Archive | awareness

The Blue Sky

The small girl shaded her eyes with her hand as she looked up at the expanse of the sky overhead.  It never ceased to amaze her.

This sky was so beautiful.

It was so blue.

Blue was her favorite color.

In the sky her soul could soar.  It could be as big as it needed to be.  She was without limits.

Finally, something matched how she felt on the inside.  It was a relief to find something in the world that mirrored a little of how she felt.  Nothing else did.

Eventually, as a self in the world tends to do, she learned about science and realized the sky was every color except blue.

from How Do We See Color? pantone.com:

Newton observed that color is not inherent in objects. Rather, the surface of an object reflects some colors and absorbs all the others. We perceive only the reflected colors.

Thus, red is not “in” an apple. The surface of the apple is reflecting the wavelengths we see as red and absorbing all the rest.

 

How could the sky not be blue?

It was as if everything she believed was no longer real.

Because it wasn’t.

As she grew into womanhood, the same thing happened to her when she began to understand the world around her was everything she thought it was not.

She thought it was real.

It is not.

Things that are real are immovable, unchanging and eternal.

Nothing in the world falls into these categories.

Everything we see and experience shifts and changes.

Who were you ten years ago?

Where did that person go?

Since we no longer are those people, does that mean they never existed?

Maybe what is real can only be found in the present moment.

Blink and that is over too.

Until we know for ourselves what is real and what is not, let us not forget to gaze upon the things that we love and pray they lead us home.

 

 

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This Mind’s Truth

Do you ever wonder why sitting in stillness is so hard?

This is where Truth lives.

Not the temporary kind you apply to life in an attempt to connect its fragmented logic, but rather, this is the Truth that transcends life.

I have accepted this Truth as a part of my experience.  It was sheer terror opening my mind to it because within its parameters, I ceased to exist.  Yet in the absence of my existence, I somehow observed the Truth.  It cannot be articulated.  It can only be experienced.

While I am more accepting that this mind opened a doorway to Truth, as a personal self, it is a very challenging awareness to play out on the stage of humanity.

I am somewhere in the middle.  I do not fully identify as a personal self anymore, however, it is the only identity in which I can relate.

It may be why strangers share their souls with me.  On some level, they know that I understand there is more to us than what meets the eye.

Once I started to accept that Divinity lived in my awareness, I began to panic.  If I knew the Truth, I had to share the Truth.

Slowly, over time, I have come to know that what I do will not impact the outcome of Truth.

Truth will come to each of us in its own way, in its own time.

I do not have to change anyone’s personal perspective, not even my own.

spiritual Writes March 25

 

 

What We Carry

Through my entire existence, I have been labeled by others and self-identified as sensitive.  I did not know I could change the oft unflattering connotations that this label has held for me.  I have carried the burden of being so completely outside the norm that it broke me.  It broke me hard.

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Eventually, I realized that it does not matter if I am or am not sensitive.  I am dropping this story as much as I can in as many ways possible. So what if I am?  So what if you are?  Let us look instead at where these false assumptions about ourselves lead us.  If we stay stuck in the personal, if we stay married to the labels, then we miss the entire point.

Every single one of us is somehow ‘not enough’ or ‘too much’ or ‘too this’ or ‘too that’.  If you want to spend your days in judgment determining what are acceptable levels of these traits in yourself and others, then this is your right.  Maybe sometimes a little good will come from these judgments. In my experience, this is rarely the case.  I believe labels and our judgments about them keep us looking outward where no solace can be found.

If you want to keep focusing outward, I hope you are able to at least consider the crosses you bear only hurt because you carry them.  

Lay them down.

 

 

 

What If?

What if the harder you try to find Truth, the more elusive it becomes?

What if knowing the answers meant letting go of finding them?

What if peace comes when the self’s expression of pain and fear is simply allowed?

What if all you have been searching for was right here, right now, not even a breath away?

What if you could accept that everything was perfect, unfolding as a great story of time and space, even when it hurt and was inexplicable in its complexities?

What if Love is all there is?

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The Water Underneath

In difficult relationships or situations, the trick of the tiny self is to analyze to the point of exhaustion.  Somehow, we falsely believe, if we could figure things out it will magically improve everything.  You might try new angles, new avenues and search for answers by asking someone you trust.  Maybe, just maybe, if we try a little bit more, a peaceful resolution will settle over us and we will ride off into the sunset happy with ourselves and the world.

It’s not true.

The only truth is to observe what hurts you the most and let it be.

This doesn’t mean you won’t eventually be inspired to act, but it stops you from looking outside yourself for the answers.

Let the frustration be.

Let the situation touch all your trigger points in your heart.

Let the person who befuddles you continue on their path.

Let it all unfold.

In my experience, once our analytical minds pause, the pain we have hidden from ourselves arises.

We have been taught pain is unacceptable.

It’s not true.

Pain is as welcome in our awareness as any other feeling, thought or emotion.

Pain just is.

Stop trying to change it, or diminish it.

Let it be.

Let it unfold.

 

“Our lives are like icebergs; most people pay attention just to the part above water, but what is really going on happens underneath the water level of everyday awareness.”

-Mary O’Malley

What’s in the Way Is the Way

Let Me Explain

let me explain SW

 

It feels important to express my intention isn’t to convince anyone who reads this to believe in something beyond themselves.  My hope is by sharing my experiences, if someone happens to believe there is more to life than life, then maybe we can journey forth together.

If I had it my way, I’d keep the body a central figure in my spiritual quest.  It is all I have known.  It is the only framework I have been taught.  I get it.  I am a body.  You are a body.  It makes sense.

Until it doesn’t.

It may happen to you, or it won’t.

I am not here to judge your experiences or your path.

For me it happened.

Undeniable, repeated experiences inexplicable in a personal context.

Am I crazy?

Maybe.

Or, maybe I’m discovering what is most true about our(selves).

We are One.

We happen to be experiencing a split-off version of our Oneness.

It’s hard imagining we are doing this thing called life alone.

I’m here to offer another way, to ponder something different, to explore the context of the self in a beyond state.

It is incapable of being captured by words.

I don’t know exactly what I am doing or where I’m going.

If you have the answers that work well for your life and your self, I embrace it all with love.

I know you are exactly where you need to be.

Even when we feel lost.

 

A World of Light

At the beginning of 2017, I started a daily yoga practice.  Often, during my time on the mat, various teachers and instructors have said, “Take what serves you and leave the rest.”  This is a guiding principle for all of life and recently, I have realized it is especially applicable to relationships.

We make relationships harder than they need to be.  If we are conscious, we can interact with another without making them responsible for how we feel.  We can allow them the space to be a full expression of who they are.  We can learn to judge less and observe more.

It’s never the person hurting us, it is our story about them that hurts us.

We must learn to ‘take what serves us’ in a relationship and let go of everything else.  If the relationship does not serve, then we have to let go of it completely.

Let them go with love.

 

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