An Ever-Widening Heart

Freedom from suffering.  This is what we all seek whether we admit it to ourselves or not.  On this seeker’s path we come to know this freedom by accepting life exactly as it finds us.  When we open wide to our inner experience and as the waves of emotion flow through us, all is transformed into Love.

For ourselves, this is a choice.  A way of being.  We decide we want to respond to the world instead of react to it.  Once this understanding takes hold in our hearts, our path is forever altered towards Truth.  We become living, breathing expressions of the is-ness of life.

Through us life becomes pure.

It is not an easy process.  It is not without pain but it holds great and everlasting purpose.

This is how we illuminate the way for those lost in the dark.  We become so intimate with the hidden fear and pain within us, we can look with wholeness at the hidden fear and pain of others.

We cannot prevent turmoil in another. If we could, they would lose the gifts embedded in their journey.  Though these gifts are unseeable in the moment, we trust they are there.  This is because we have walked through our own despair with open eyes and collected deeper heart wisdom.

We are only meant to walk along side the hurting other as a witness.

As Love Itself.

To hand back to them the possibility of growing in Truth, in wisdom and in an ever-widening heart.

Whether by chance or by grief, we all return Home.

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This Is Life

Within life’s shatterings, a wisdom will find and guide us.  This wisdom watches and waits without judgement.  It knows the Truth of our hearts.  When life does not match our heart’s Truth, it starts to crumble away.

Even if we are aware of this process, it will not prevent the pain associated with it.  If we attempt to avoid this pain, it only prolongs our suffering.

First the crumble, then the pain and then we meet our Truth.

Most of our pain is attached to our illusion that we are in control of how life unfolds.  This can take many forms.  It can look like ‘security’ with the way things are and a belief comfortable circumstances will remain the same.  It sometimes shows up as imagining a future goal and our desired outcome of this goal will free us from our feelings of inadequacy.  The most common and habitual deflection of the fear of life’s constant shifts is placing our anger, guilt, shame and blame on others.

We can stay trapped in this ‘otherness’ for a lifetime.

It is okay if we do.  We are human.

However, we can make freedom choices within our human framework that originate in awareness.  If we choose to be present as much as we are able, Truth might reach us today instead of tomorrow.

This is the practice.  This is life.

This is Everything.

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Complete Happiness

When your story begins, you do not choose the participants.  You make the best of who shows up.  You can dance, sing, cry, scream or in the worst cases, make yourself invisible all in the name of seeking outside validation within your story’s confines.

You can do this for as long as necessary, until your inner well empties and you feel as if you may die from thirst.  This thirst burns at you until you take ownership of what is going on inside your heart.

Grief.  Sorrow. Regret.

I have walked along the path of life with these as my companions.  I did my best to ignore them.  I ran faster, tried harder and configured myself into images I believed might make me lovable.

Nothing I did worked until one day exhaustion forced me to stop.  As I rested Grief, Sorrow and Regret finally caught up to me.

“Why are you running?” they asked.  “Where are you trying to go?”

To my freedom I told them.

“But that is not The Way.  Freedom is not a destination, it is an understanding.  It is not there, it is here.

Right here.

Always.”

I had not realized it yet but Grief, Sorrow and Regret had become my friends.  By talking to them and letting them have their say, they bestowed gifts upon me.

As I feel what needs to be felt and express what needs to leave me, I am learning the greatest lesson of all.

Even love unreciprocated heals us.  For every blind heart we have turned towards is a reminder that the only love we need is within us.

You are complete.

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The Slanted Rays of Healing

If the ground shifts beneath you it is okay to fall down.  You can stay there for as long as you need.

You do not need to try to get up.  In fact, it is better to feel where you are even if it hurts.

I am here in the dark.

It is in this inky bleakness I have discovered an immutable truth.

Even the depth of night holds unspeakable beauty.

Abundance is all around.  It is in the sky, written in the stars and stamped across the horizon.

Our hearts can hurt but our minds can turn to Love.

Pain levels have nothing to do with awakening.  We can hurt and awaken.  We can have peace and awaken.

We can be both and awaken.

Suffering exists for some and is pushed away by many.  For those awake enough to turn towards the discomfort, rays of healing slant their way in like sunbeams slicing through a window shutter.

It does not make the pain go away, but it might change our relationship to it.

A step back, a breath in and a heart turned inward;

this is where you find yourSelf.

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As Silence Goes

As silence goes, it can only hold so much.  If you have not yet cleared away the muck, silence will slip away.

It is easy to avoid the quiet and lose yourself in the noise.  Noise makes little sense when filtered through the mind.

Noise becomes a message when filtered through silence.

Silence will break through the patterns until you are left with a singular truth.

You are hurting.

Someone hurt you.

You feel alone.

You are misunderstood.

You are not held in love.

All painful beliefs are symptoms of feeling separate.  None are more or less true, but the pain beneath them is real.

If we never allow our lives to pause, we will forever be at the mercy of our hidden beliefs and pain.

There will be times wise and loving action is required of us.

Yet, true alchemy begins in our stillness.

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As True as You Are

Within this moment the Truth resides. It wants for nothing as it knows abundance beyond all form.

How does an ordinary person find this Truth?

The first steps are looking inside and listening to what the mind has to say. You may not like what you hear but at least you are noticing.

There is power in the noticing.

It is not up to you to change the mind.  It morphs at the speed of light.  It is rare anyone can catch it.  Even if you do cast a net wide enough to envelop your thoughts, they will slip through the openings to be replaced by the mind’s next great disaster.

There is power in letting thoughts be.

Fill your heart-stores up with compassion because as you let go of controlling your thoughts, fear may start to seep in and wash away your resolve.

It feels easier to revert to control when our feelings begin to surface.

For this moment, what if we gave ourselves permission to be exactly as we are?

Of course we would still be flawed in deep and interesting ways, but could we learn of a truer version of ourselves?

Give yourself five minutes a day where no change is required in thought, body or mind.

In these moments, what might you find?

Peace? Beauty? Love?

Each glimmer a lifeline towards hope and wholeness.

Already arrived and permanent.

As True as you are and always have been.

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Ignited

I lived and breathed fire.

It surrounded me.

Flames raged at uncertain intervals.  I never knew what the day held for me except for fear.

Every morning I would open my door with care and test the outside temperature.  Most days were cool, some days balmy and the worst days scorched at my soul.

I greeted this uncertainty by becoming my version of invisible.  Whatever beauty I held began to fade away.

The layers of soot and ash had cloaked my authenticity until even years and distance could not deny what I had lived. Until I could no longer deny living meant more than surviving.  It meant facing the fire in its entirety.  It meant walking through walls of flames for days and days.

I flailed through the heat and the hurt with everything I had.  Pain pounded at me from every angle.  I fell to the earth, folded myself over and waited for as long as it took.

Time blurred as the flames roared over me.

I did not recoil as I had no fight left in me.

If this was my ending, I had made my peace.

Through my pain I held onto this peace as it was always a notch beneath the fire that consumed me.  As I focused on it and not on my pain, the raging fire faded from view.

My heart glowed for the first time, lit from Within.

Quiet in its power the only burn remaining was Truth.

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