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A Beginning

Where is your heart today?

Is it outside of you?  Is it walking around in the shape of another person?  In the circumstances of the world’s fate?

In our search to right our discontent, we scan the horizon for answers.

I am hurting.  Who or what is causing this hurt?

Is it something I saw in the news?  Is it a person I encountered that seemed to dismiss me?  Is it how I look?

What is it?

I cannot answer these questions for you.  Your experience is yours.

I can breathe into my own experience and make space for all the stories, events and ideas that crash against my soul keeping it weighed down in fear.

I used to rail against this weight.  I am learning to welcome it.

What if it has more to teach me than easy joy?

With this understanding, my burden lightens ever so and my hope grows steady.

Hope is not peace itself, but it is a beginning.

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The Pause

There is a pause that lives within us.  It is between our thoughts suspended in time.  From this pause arises all the wisdom we will ever need.  Stories of fear fall away and light enters our hearts when we are submerged in this pause.

We find grace in the pause.

It is habitual to be reactionary.  Without a pause, our anger spills forward with a force that carries away our reason and kindness.  The landscape of our lives becomes barren, scorched by the veracity of our fears.

When we live from our fear, we make mistakes.  Sometimes we use these mistakes as an excuse to cut our emotional insides to shreds.

But, a mistake is nothing but a mistake.

Pause.

Breathe.

Forgive.

Until you have forgiven.

Until you are forgiven.

Until you remember there was nothing to forgive in the first place.

Pause.

Breathe.

Repeat.

Love will find its way to you.

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Harmony

I have a song in my heart and I am afraid to sing it.

Within the parameters of my ordinary life, extraordinary events have occurred.

I have been lost.  I have been saved.  I have been everything in between.

The first time my heart broke I was certain love was lost to me forever.

But love always found me.  I never turned it away.

Through the gains and the loss that love showed me, I grew as a human. I learned that a broken heart mends stronger, wiser and no worse for the wear.

The stories I collected as I traveled through life showed me exquisite joy and excruciating pain.

I was so busy living my life, sometimes I forgot to share it.

Until one day I was a brave, wild storyteller standing on the cliffs of wisdom shouting my life at the top of my lungs.

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A few kind souls heard me.  They answered and we collapsed in a heap of shared experience.  When one of us was weak, the rest would carry them to safety.

These people showed me The Way.

I felt so free my heart kept telling its stories until one day, they landed on some hearts hardened by what life had given them.  Worse yet, some hearts chose to completely ignore my stories.  Important hearts.  Ones that mattered.  A part of me froze.  The storytelling part.

As I watched my stories slip away like balloons set free in the sky, a darkness settled over me.  I was faced with a choice.  Either I continue my storytelling, or I stay quiet in an abyss of disconnect.

I must admit, it felt safer to envelop myself in that darkened abyss, but I did not want to die there.

I wanted to live and give.  I wanted to laugh and cry.

I wanted to tell my story.

So, I did.

I will tell my story as long as there is life in this body and fire in my being.  As the starry dots of my soul configure into a beautiful hymn of the heart, I pray you find yourself there, too.

Harmony is so sweet.

 

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Love is the Only Purpose You Need

I’ve read a lot of books and articles by various authors and spiritualists trying to figure out my purpose.  I’ve heard a lot of talk about what I need to ‘do’ in order to find my most authentic life.  If I fail to do this, I won’t ever reach my potential. That is not a comforting thought.

While I don’t have all the answers to true purpose, I have a different way to look at it.

True purpose means expressing love.

That’s it.

The hard part is being able to express love in all circumstances.

I am my truest self when I am able to connect to the Love Within. The more I do this, the more I’m able to carry the Love Within to the world without.

I’m not very good at it.

In fact, I am easily distracted.  I often bump up against my own story of how my life’s purpose should be something more. More meaningful, more impactful, more lucrative….

Sometimes, I get so mired down in the more, more, more, I forget that I am Love, Love, Love.

You don’t have to change your outward life at all to be purposeful. You only have to change your inner story by setting its frequency to Love. This way when life’s challenges appear, you will be drawn to find the silver linings that are always there a touch below our personal self’s perception.

Love can always be felt.  I am learning this.  It is a very slow process. One in which I have to turn my pain into opportunity.  I am learning to be a compassionate witness to all that arises within and around me. It is through this lens of compassion that a tiny sphere of peace appears. Even though nothing outwardly changes, this little peace is comforting in and of itself.  Some days, it’s all I have to get me through.

It’s enough.  It has always been enough.

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The Immutable Nature of Truth

The concept that the world is neutral can feel deeply unsettling.  How can this be so, you may wonder.  It’s highly likely you’ve already had whisperings of this Knowledge if you are reading this.  As a personal self, a neutral world is at the outer limit of our understanding.  That’s the whole point.  When your understanding is pushed so far, that’s when you can connect to Truth.  However, if you get pushed too far, too quickly, you may reject Truth before you allow yourself to experience it.  Either accepting or denying Truth is perfectly okay.  Never judge yourself for where you are.  You’re here.  That’s the only place you ever need to be. Truth, not-truth or half-Truth, they all lead Home eventually.

If you have pushed your personal self to the absolute boundary of understanding, you may be open to viewing the neutral nature of the world.  It’s always helpful to keep an open mind, but if it becomes too frightening, it’s okay to step back.  An indicator of fear is feeling angry or defensive.  That’s all acceptable too.  How you see the world is how you see the world.  Truth remains unchangeable beyond the reaches of human perception.  Take comfort that the Truth is immutable.  Stay open, if possible, because reaching for Truth may be a salve to your soul.

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All the meaning we give the world is the story we project onto it.  If we are feeling lost and disconnected from our Source, the world seems cruel and soul-crushingly lonely.  If we heal enough to let the Light back in, Love is all around us.  The more you heal your thoughts and your mind by opening to Truth, the more loving the world will become for you.

As our understanding expands, our stories about the world we think we see will be altered.  Any attack or perceived lack of love is simply an invitation to turn inward and remember the Love buried deep within us. Think about that!  How many golden opportunities do we have each and every day to turn towards Love? Infinite really. That’s how much we are Loved. We are given endless opportunities to remember we are Love. Every attack, hurt, or heartbreak we experience is because WE ARE LOVED.  Love is trying to teach us that we always have everything we need within us. This way we no longer rely on a world that rarely makes sense. This is Total Freedom.

Love is trying to show us that each of us are priceless jewels cupped gently in the hand of God.

Our only mistake is that we have forgotten how to shine.