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Found and Delivered

I am a feather

I land softly in a field

 

Disconnected from the wing of belonging, where aligned in a row I found purpose

 

I forged flight with my counterparts

Each of us lifting to the heights of success

 

Here, now,

Separated,

I notice

 

The sky

 

The blue expanse of it

 

I could never see it as I fluttered to do my part

My purpose became my prison

Locked in a flight I did not belong to

 

The next sharp wind catches me

 

I am carried away

 

The sky remains,

Unchallenged

 

Resting into this star-dusted breath of air,

My courage is found and delivered

 

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The Tunnel of Life

In the tunnel of life we are always told to keep facing forward. Our eyes must remain fixed in place at all costs. Even on our most broken days, we must keep marching towards the tunnel’s illuminated endpoint.

The light at the end of the tunnel holds the All of Everything we need to finally be whole. Redemption awaits us there. The banquet tables of celebration are set in anticipation of our arrival.

We are not to question anything. We are not to notice that the light seems to move farther from us with each step. The light is not for the weary of faith. It is for the believers. Believers never question.

Eyes forward, no questions.

Keep marching.

The world and its wisdom shouts at us to keep trudging. Even if we stumble and twist our ankle, we grab some crutches and go.

The light waits for no one.

We march in packs mostly, but today, as exhaustion settles into me, I find myself unable to keep pace. At first, I slow my gait. Eventually, when this does not quell my malaise, I come to a halt.

I am not going to make it to the light.

My hands scrape down the tunnel as I fold my legs into a seat on the floor.

It is cold. It is damp.

It reeks of utter defeat.

I try to comfort myself. I gave it everything I had.

It was not enough.

I begin to accept the quiet possibility that I am not enough. I am not made for this journey. The light is not meant for me.

My heart drops low in my chest. As my senses adjust to the absence of light, a spark at the edge of my despair catches my eye. Fear forces me to avert my gaze.

Yet, it is persistent.

Soon, the all of my sadness is alight with bursting, blinding, brightness. It fills my being, my heart, and my soul. The entire tunnel is shining. I am able to see in all directions. The past, the present, the future.

As I take in this new source of light, I notice for the first time the full magnificence of the tunnel as it is.

Right here, right now.  This moment, this beauty.

It is everything.

Until now, I never considered the tunnel was beauty.  No one ever said the tunnel itself was beautiful.

If I never make it out, I have enough right here to sustain me.  Here I am fed by eternal, untouchable beauty and reminded of my inner light.

The tunnel and I are one.

The tunnel is the light.

Therefore, I am the light.

I am the light.

I have always been the light.

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You Are Magic

Deep in the quiet space between thoughts, she asked Stillness to guide her. 

This is how Stillness answered:

My Dearest,

Be compassionate for the human you are.  You are closer to Truth than you are away from it.

Live your sorrows out loud.

Let yourself be.

Show yourself love as the return-to-Home process continues.  You are quite unusual because you keep turning towards suffering instead of running away from it.  You have not made sense of this yet, but you will.  I promise you that.

You need to not only believe in magic, but remember you are magic.  As long as you continue to express what is true-for-you and do what lights you up the most, you will experience far more grace than you ever thought possible.

This dreamer’s dream is about to explode with joyful, never-ending possibility.  Each step forward will hand back to you a piece of your broken soul. You will puzzle it together, smooth out the edges and breathe into your birthright of peace, hope, comfort and healing.  You will do all of this with the knowledge this experience is not special.  It is available to All.

You will carry a lantern for others still lost in the darkness.

All humans are living the same hero’s journey.  Some are awake to this fact, most are not. Neither perspective is right or wrong.  It is the way things are.

You are awake so show yourself mercy.  Enough mercy to hold the All-of-Everything within you.

Always believe yourself.  Believe every thought and every feeling you have.

If you can do that, you will always have enough.

Walk well, Darling Girl.

The Light will catch up to you soon.

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All Our Ways

In our rush to fix what is broken, we often exert tremendous efforts towards mending ourselves.  We read every book, download every class, meditate with the masters, and seek answers for the empty questions walled within our hearts.  All this effort may offer us temporary comfort and a flash of clarity, but it rarely holds steady.

Maybe it isn’t our brokenness that needs mending but how we view our brokenness.

For every healing measure we undertake in our lives signals our soul that we are damaged.  Over and over, again and again, our continuous seeking mires us deeper in the quicksand of not being enough exactly as we are.

You are not broken.

You are Love.

Let your soul hear that.  Even through the pain and all the wrong turns of life, you are Love.

Brokenness does not determine worth.  Brokenness helps reveal the truth when we have covered and forgotten it.

We are Beauty in motion, Light in full-force and Perfect in all our ways.

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In the Night of Uncertainty

Uncertainty came to me through the night of my soul.

“I am here to serve,” It told me.

“I do not want you here. Wherever you go, Uncertainty, fear always follows.”

“I am here to serve,” It told me again.

“That cannot be true, Uncertainty, for you blur the edges of my future until I cannot see them anymore.”

“This is my greatest gift,” said Uncertainty.  “Without a future you will soar away to Beauty.”

Realizing Uncertainty was here to stay I said, “But I am small and afraid. Without a future, where do I go?

How do I live?

What do I do?”

“I am here to serve,” said Uncertainty.

Frustration bloomed through each and every one of my limbs and the soles of my feet cemented in the Now of Being.

Rooted in place, the wind caught my attention and carried me.

Everywhere I landed Uncertainty greeted me.

“I am here to serve,” It said.

When the wind stopped, I had arrived.

The Dream looked different than planned, but it Loved me.  Infinite and true, it suited me better.

“I am here to serve,” said Uncertainty.

I looked Uncertainty in the eyes.

“Thank you,” I said.

Uncertainty met my gaze and vowed to always be with me.

Together, we carved grace from the Tree of Life.

Together, we held every possibility in the Infinite Unknown.

Together, we walked straight into fear until it transformed into Love.

“I am here to serve,” we said together.

 

 

 

 

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Dear One

Oh, Dear One,

You have given your best

Somehow, within all the constant motioning, you realized it was not real

You had to find the balance of living your fears and heartache while planting seeds of hope in the more of who-you-are

You learned turning away from tumult only makes it louder

Your humanity remains fixed

Forgive yourself for this

Grow your heart wider than the river of suffering on which you float

Even when your sorrow catches in the current, grow wider still

You will always land with soft feet and sunlit eyes by embracing the divinity of Love

For every broken dream, Dear One, has led you to the mountain

Before you would have climbed with all your might

But, not today

You know the beauty of the mountain is the same at all points and peaks

Grow your heart wide, Dear One,

Grow wider still

 

 

 

 

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True-For-You

The gift of conditional love is the ability to recognize what is unconditional.

Conditional love promises acceptance and belonging if its terms are met.  The onus is all up to you.  If you are able to meet the criteria, you will belong.  You must be vigilant.  You must constantly change who-you-are to meet the conditional where it lives.

It works for awhile.  Sometimes, it even mimics what the unconditional might feel like.

Then, the signs become too loud to ignore.  Your world changes, your body and mind begin to breakdown and even though you see the truth for what it is, you are too frightened to leave the familiar.

I cannot promise you an easy path if you choose to seek for that which is unconditional.

The heart of belonging is found within you.  Every time another is unable to walk with you on the path, they are leading you inward.  Therefore, not meeting you where you are is an act of great beauty.  For if this happens enough, maybe a thousand times or more, you are left with what is most real.

Unconditional Love.

You are complete and whole. You do not have to try to be something you aren’t or say things you never believed. You do not have to pretend up is down or wrong is right.  You can express what is true-for-you in all circumstances never needing an outside source to validate it.

If it’s true-for-you, it is.

Rest in this Knowing.

You never have to be anything other than you.

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Thy Name is Love

Sometimes what is broken must remain so, but only for a little while.

We cannot make the pain of heartbreak leave us before it has transformed what needed mending. We may walk blindly through life for years not knowing we are holding onto beliefs that do not serve or heartache too painful to process.

For years.

The courage to face what is broken comes to us over time.  As we live through the ups and downs of life, our inner resources grow and our faith that life is in our favor expands.

So that pain you have been carrying, as it it surfaces, even though it feels like the world may be ending, is sending you a message.

This pain is your beauty.  It is where all that is True and Loving exist for you.  You are shedding beliefs that are hurtful.  Learn to sit with your heartbreak and let it tell its tale.  Let it rage at the unfairness of it all.  Let it mourn the relationships that are not meant to be.  Let it break itself apart until it is a glittering, jagged mess of edges and shards.  Until it is no longer recognizable.  Until you realize that you can rename it.

And that name is Love.

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An Ever-Widening Heart

Freedom from suffering.  This is what we all seek whether we admit it to ourselves or not.  On this seeker’s path we come to know this freedom by accepting life exactly as it finds us.  When we open wide to our inner experience and as the waves of emotion flow through us, all is transformed into Love.

For ourselves, this is a choice.  A way of being.  We decide we want to respond to the world instead of react to it.  Once this understanding takes hold in our hearts, our path is forever altered towards Truth.  We become living, breathing expressions of the is-ness of life.

Through us life becomes pure.

It is not an easy process.  It is not without pain but it holds great and everlasting purpose.

This is how we illuminate the way for those lost in the dark.  We become so intimate with the hidden fear and pain within us, we can look with wholeness at the hidden fear and pain of others.

We cannot prevent turmoil in another. If we could, they would lose the gifts embedded in their journey.  Though these gifts are unseeable in the moment, we trust they are there.  This is because we have walked through our own despair with open eyes and collected deeper heart wisdom.

We are only meant to walk along side the hurting other as a witness.

As Love Itself.

To hand back to them the possibility of growing in Truth, in wisdom and in an ever-widening heart.

Whether by chance or by grief, we all return Home.

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This Is Life

Within life’s shatterings, a wisdom will find and guide us.  This wisdom watches and waits without judgement.  It knows the Truth of our hearts.  When life does not match our heart’s Truth, it starts to crumble away.

Even if we are aware of this process, it will not prevent the pain associated with it.  If we attempt to avoid this pain, it only prolongs our suffering.

First the crumble, then the pain and then we meet our Truth.

Most of our pain is attached to our illusion that we are in control of how life unfolds.  This can take many forms.  It can look like ‘security’ with the way things are and a belief comfortable circumstances will remain the same.  It sometimes shows up as imagining a future goal and our desired outcome of this goal will free us from our feelings of inadequacy.  The most common and habitual deflection of the fear of life’s constant shifts is placing our anger, guilt, shame and blame on others.

We can stay trapped in this ‘otherness’ for a lifetime.

It is okay if we do.  We are human.

However, we can make freedom choices within our human framework that originate in awareness.  If we choose to be present as much as we are able, Truth might reach us today instead of tomorrow.

This is the practice.  This is life.

This is Everything.

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