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Complete Happiness

When your story begins, you do not choose the participants.  You make the best of who shows up.  You can dance, sing, cry, scream or in the worst cases, make yourself invisible all in the name of seeking outside validation within your story’s confines.

You can do this for as long as necessary, until your inner well empties and you feel as if you may die from thirst.  This thirst burns at you until you take ownership of what is going on inside your heart.

Grief.  Sorrow. Regret.

I have walked along the path of life with these as my companions.  I did my best to ignore them.  I ran faster, tried harder and configured myself into images I believed might make me lovable.

Nothing I did worked until one day exhaustion forced me to stop.  As I rested Grief, Sorrow and Regret finally caught up to me.

“Why are you running?” they asked.  “Where are you trying to go?”

To my freedom I told them.

“But that is not The Way.  Freedom is not a destination, it is an understanding.  It is not there, it is here.

Right here.

Always.”

I had not realized it yet but Grief, Sorrow and Regret had become my friends.  By talking to them and letting them have their say, they bestowed gifts upon me.

As I feel what needs to be felt and express what needs to leave me, I am learning the greatest lesson of all.

Even love unreciprocated heals us.  For every blind heart we have turned towards is a reminder that the only love we need is within us.

You are complete.

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As Silence Goes

As silence goes, it can only hold so much.  If you have not yet cleared away the muck, silence will slip away.

It is easy to avoid the quiet and lose yourself in the noise.  Noise makes little sense when filtered through the mind.

Noise becomes a message when filtered through silence.

Silence will break through the patterns until you are left with a singular truth.

You are hurting.

Someone hurt you.

You feel alone.

You are misunderstood.

You are not held in love.

All painful beliefs are symptoms of feeling separate.  None are more or less true, but the pain beneath them is real.

If we never allow our lives to pause, we will forever be at the mercy of our hidden beliefs and pain.

There will be times wise and loving action is required of us.

Yet, true alchemy begins in our stillness.

Jack-Kornfield-

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Truth Collector

I am a truth collector.

A feather here, a shiny pebble there.

Gathering together words and phrases that most resemble wisdom.

My purpose is singular in this world.  Find anything that embodies truth and become that.

How do I know if something is True?

First of all, asking a question is a fine place to start but it makes no impact on Knowing.

Truth is felt.

It is anything that allows us to feel the enormity of who-we-are.  It can come to us in any form.  Sometimes it seems to appear as darkness, but with patience and practice, this becomes light, too.

The truer we are, the brighter the world becomes.

Until we burst forth with Love and all that remains is healing.

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Shining Through

My life as a story held everything.

There was sorrow and triumph.

There was joy and heartbreak.

Most of the story I glided through the chapters.  I followed the natural arc of obstacle-induced change, resistance-filled growth and ended on acceptance.

That’s how most of the story works until it didn’t.

Sometimes, embedded in a chapter, parts of the story froze.  It would ice itself over and become still. It was so slick, I hardly noticed it.

When I was faced with great joy/beauty/love, due to my soul’s partial deep-freeze, I shut down.  Sometimes, I shut down so much, I had to turn the page.  Sometimes I had to skip entire chapters and sections of joy in my story as my fragmented heart lacked the capacity to process it all.

Yet, I kept turning the pages until one day, a new part of my journey shone a spotlight on the iced-over sections.

Now, I know they are there.  On occasion, I feel a thaw but it hurts.  It hurts too much and I have to flip the pages forward once again.

I am willing to rewrite the past so that my future is clean and bright.

Love comes to us in every form.  It takes courage to embrace however it shows up, even in its most frozen iteration.

As we thaw our way to wholeness, the story becomes a melting away of self-identity right to the heart-center of the Light within.

Unchanged, unflappable perfection.  Gold already spun, shining through every ice storm imaginable.

Shining through as You.

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Feathers

Strength is not defined by exertion alone.

There is fortitude in the pausing, gaping space around the fear of your experience.

Change is not the answer.

Being present with life as it is holds a unique kind of safety.

Even a plummeting cliff fall becomes Loving if we open our hearts beyond our minds.

The wider the opening, the softer the fall.

Let the wings of compassion catch you and waft you towards healing.

Light as a feather you may recall you are unbreakable.

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Loved

A perfect sky of endless blue greeted me with no judgment

Within its infinite reach, the sky held space for the changing weather

Rain, sleet or thunder moved through it unencumbered

No judgment

Could my soul become like the sky?

Could I hold my humanity, in all its heartbreak and sunshine, and still be endless?

I looked to the sky for validation.

The sky did not answer me.

Instead, its vastness descended upon me and washed away my wondering

It did not change me or challenge me

It only welcomed all that I was, all that I am and all that I might be

Part sky and part Truth

Endless and finite

Beauty and fear

Held tightly and set free

Loved.

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The Stream

The girl is thirsty.  She follows everyone to the well.  She watches as each person sends their bucket deep into the darkness.  They retrieve the water they need.

It is never quite enough.

When the girl attempts to gather water for her seeming insatiable thirst, her bucket often comes up empty.

She looks to the others for guidance, for comfort, for some way of knowing that her bucket will be filled beyond measure.

They cannot answer her.  They are too busy trying to keep their own buckets filled.

They are doing their best.

The girl, in her heart, knows there is more to be found.  More water, more love, more safety.

Just more.

Of everything.  Where truth shines and burdens are lifted.

Where enough water flows for everyone.

She leaves the well behind and all the people.  She sets out on her own path.  She sees a hill calling out to be climbed.

She answers with determined steps.

She picks up speed and her effort grows.

Until finally, she reaches the peak.  Her momentum tumbles her down the other side.

She lands and the soft earth catches her.

Then, she sees it.

A beautiful, bubbling stream of clear fresh water.  There is more than enough here for her.  There is enough for everyone.

She rushes back to share this good fortune, but no one believes her.  They like the well water.  They trust it.

No one likes change.

The girl leaves them to their work.  She knows they will find the stream when they are ready.

She makes her way back to the water’s edge.  Love washes over her and fear slips away.

She is safe.

The stream is Everything.

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