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You Are Magic

Deep in the quiet space between thoughts, she asked Stillness to guide her. 

This is how Stillness answered:

My Dearest,

Be compassionate for the human you are.  You are closer to Truth than you are away from it.

Live your sorrows out loud.

Let yourself be.

Show yourself love as the return-to-Home process continues.  You are quite unusual because you keep turning towards suffering instead of running away from it.  You have not made sense of this yet, but you will.  I promise you that.

You need to not only believe in magic, but remember you are magic.  As long as you continue to express what is true-for-you and do what lights you up the most, you will experience far more grace than you ever thought possible.

This dreamer’s dream is about to explode with joyful, never-ending possibility.  Each step forward will hand back to you a piece of your broken soul. You will puzzle it together, smooth out the edges and breathe into your birthright of peace, hope, comfort and healing.  You will do all of this with the knowledge this experience is not special.  It is available to All.

You will carry a lantern for others still lost in the darkness.

All humans are living the same hero’s journey.  Some are awake to this fact, most are not. Neither perspective is right or wrong.  It is the way things are.

You are awake so show yourself mercy.  Enough mercy to hold the All-of-Everything within you.

Always believe yourself.  Believe every thought and every feeling you have.

If you can do that, you will always have enough.

Walk well, Darling Girl.

The Light will catch up to you soon.

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Dear One

Oh, Dear One,

You have given your best

Somehow, within all the constant motioning, you realized it was not real

You had to find the balance of living your fears and heartache while planting seeds of hope in the more of who-you-are

You learned turning away from tumult only makes it louder

Your humanity remains fixed

Forgive yourself for this

Grow your heart wider than the river of suffering on which you float

Even when your sorrow catches in the current, grow wider still

You will always land with soft feet and sunlit eyes by embracing the divinity of Love

For every broken dream, Dear One, has led you to the mountain

Before you would have climbed with all your might

But, not today

You know the beauty of the mountain is the same at all points and peaks

Grow your heart wide, Dear One,

Grow wider still

 

 

 

 

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Thy Name is Love

Sometimes what is broken must remain so, but only for a little while.

We cannot make the pain of heartbreak leave us before it has transformed what needed mending. We may walk blindly through life for years not knowing we are holding onto beliefs that do not serve or heartache too painful to process.

For years.

The courage to face what is broken comes to us over time.  As we live through the ups and downs of life, our inner resources grow and our faith that life is in our favor expands.

So that pain you have been carrying, as it it surfaces, even though it feels like the world may be ending, is sending you a message.

This pain is your beauty.  It is where all that is True and Loving exist for you.  You are shedding beliefs that are hurtful.  Learn to sit with your heartbreak and let it tell its tale.  Let it rage at the unfairness of it all.  Let it mourn the relationships that are not meant to be.  Let it break itself apart until it is a glittering, jagged mess of edges and shards.  Until it is no longer recognizable.  Until you realize that you can rename it.

And that name is Love.

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This Is Life

Within life’s shatterings, a wisdom will find and guide us.  This wisdom watches and waits without judgement.  It knows the Truth of our hearts.  When life does not match our heart’s Truth, it starts to crumble away.

Even if we are aware of this process, it will not prevent the pain associated with it.  If we attempt to avoid this pain, it only prolongs our suffering.

First the crumble, then the pain and then we meet our Truth.

Most of our pain is attached to our illusion that we are in control of how life unfolds.  This can take many forms.  It can look like ‘security’ with the way things are and a belief comfortable circumstances will remain the same.  It sometimes shows up as imagining a future goal and our desired outcome of this goal will free us from our feelings of inadequacy.  The most common and habitual deflection of the fear of life’s constant shifts is placing our anger, guilt, shame and blame on others.

We can stay trapped in this ‘otherness’ for a lifetime.

It is okay if we do.  We are human.

However, we can make freedom choices within our human framework that originate in awareness.  If we choose to be present as much as we are able, Truth might reach us today instead of tomorrow.

This is the practice.  This is life.

This is Everything.

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Small Moments

As you come to embody your personal experience more fully, you will begin to notice life in a new way.  Living in Presence affords you the beauty of seeing Love’s abundance surrounding you.

Small moments become deeply moving as your heart awakens.

With all this noticing of Beauty, you come to know other truths about yourself.  You may find searing judgments and criticism below the surface of your life.  In fact, you may be shocked at how harshly you speak to yourself.

Therefore, as mindfulness breathes awareness through your experience, you have to fill your emotional stores replete with forgiveness.

Yet, as you grow your heart in its most Loving direction, you will become more adept at handling the hurtful stories you tell yourself.

Space begins to form around difficulty.  From this opening, healing may enter and wisdom may rise to your consciousness.

The greatest salve of humanity is forgiveness.  Forgiveness of the world, forgiveness of ourselves and forgiveness of each other.

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The Unfolding of Life

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When a problem arises, we are conditioned to ‘think our way through it’.  If we spend enough time and effort reshaping our life based on what our minds tell us to do, eventually life will submit to our will.

But what if it does not?  What if the harder we try to problem-solve or the deeper we delve into logic, we are still stuck with the exact same life and the exact same conflicts.

Maybe our life is not a problem to be solved.  What if life is simply an unfolding we need to experience without interference?

In its unfolding, we welcome All.

Everything expresses to its fullness.

When this happens, sometimes what we label as ‘ugly’ tumbles into beauty.

Maybe it’s time to let life be.

“We can’t understand the nature of reality until we let go of controlling our experience.”

-True Refuge: Finding Peace and Freedom in Your Own Awakened Heart (Tara Brach)

 

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Truth Lives

I was under the impression that to awaken, the body was something to overcome.  I spent my time fighting with its tendency towards fear, anxiety and the physical manifestations of these states.  This battle raged for many months and years until one day it stopped.  The fear, anxiety and physical manifestations did not, but the resistance to them lessened.   As my grip fell away from manipulating the body’s experience, this is when peace would visit.

The mind will be frantic at first without a problem to solve.  It will buck against the framework of simply being.

It will want to move, to alter, to make better or more.  It will hate to be still.

Invite this resistance to come sit at your table.  Offer it a chair.  Let it be wild with its anger.  Let it try to scare you into action.  Let it do whatever it wants.

Beyond this chaos lives the Truth.

No need to reach.  No need to strain.

Truth lives.

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The Deep Heart of Listening

If you want to deeply listen to someone else, you first have to be clear on what your inner experience is.  You have to connect to the present moment and let your thoughts, judgments and feelings come into your awareness while not attaching to them.

The miracle of listening this way allows the talker to unfold into their own brilliance.  Without letting our busy-body minds interfere with their process, an invitation is extended so that Truth may enter.

When Truth enters, healing occurs.

The story and its circumstances are not altered, yet the talker is allowed an opportunity for inner transformation if they are ready for it.

However, as a listener, if we are invested in validating, interjecting and sharing our own ideas about how this story ‘should be’, we block the flow of the miracle.

Yesterday, I mindfully listened to a woman who shared a harrowing and unjust life story.  Instead of responding with my words or gestures, I let the story sweep over me.  I saw inside myself the judgments, labels and rising tides of emotions.

These were mine.  Not hers.

But because I waited through that uncomfortable urge to say something, the story slowly shifted to immense beauty.  While it included heartbreak, the lights of resilience started to shine through it.

My labels and judgments were soon replaced by sheer awe.

When awe enters, it is easy to detach and yield with an open heart to the Love that lives inside struggle.

Where else could we yield?  What miracles await us if we simply let go?

I am ready to listen.

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Healing Reimagined

In my years of searching for Truth, my motivation rested in changing the self that I am.  The amount of effort I poured into finding inner peace rivaled that of an athlete training for the Olympics.  I read countless books, meditated daily, had a spiritual mentor and began a yoga practice in earnest.

Each of these may or may not have been valuable on this path.  I have no regrets only compassion.  The self that searched with all her might endured a suffering few can imagine.  When a self experiences the world as a dream but then is dropped back into the personal experience of it, all hell breaks loose.

This self did all she could to survive and mitigate the internal, constant noise of ‘living in two worlds’.

Over the past few months, this self’s course has down-shifted.  There is less urgency to reach a goal of peace.  Rather, the emphasis has changed to accepting where this self is on the journey.

Peace may come to stay, but it is okay if it does not.  A healed mind may manifest, but it is okay if it does not.

There is something to be found in loving the present moment exactly as it is.  There is great value in accepting ourselves right here, right now.

“…, you are already perfect just as you are, in the sense of already being perfectly who you are, including all the imperfections.”

-Full Catastrophe Living: Using the Wisdom of Your Body and Mind to Face Stress, Pain, and Illness

Jon Kabat-Zinn

It is helpful to redefine healing in a way that will make it available to you wherever you are on your path to wholeness.  The shift comes by focusing on accepting what is and letting go of the constant striving for change.

Jon Kabat-Zinn redefines healing beautifully in Full Catastrophe Living:

” … my working definition of healing is coming to terms with things as they are.”

Healing will find us if we breathe open-heartedly into this present moment.

Let it be.

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