In my years of searching for Truth, my motivation rested in changing the self that I am. The amount of effort I poured into finding inner peace rivaled that of an athlete training for the Olympics. I read countless books, meditated daily, had a spiritual mentor and began a yoga practice in earnest.
Each of these may or may not have been valuable on this path. I have no regrets only compassion. The self that searched with all her might endured a suffering few can imagine. When a self experiences the world as a dream but then is dropped back into the personal experience of it, all hell breaks loose.
This self did all she could to survive and mitigate the internal, constant noise of ‘living in two worlds’.
Over the past few months, this self’s course has down-shifted. There is less urgency to reach a goal of peace. Rather, the emphasis has changed to accepting where this self is on the journey.
Peace may come to stay, but it is okay if it does not. A healed mind may manifest, but it is okay if it does not.
There is something to be found in loving the present moment exactly as it is. There is great value in accepting ourselves right here, right now.
“…, you are already perfect just as you are, in the sense of already being perfectly who you are, including all the imperfections.”
-Full Catastrophe Living: Using the Wisdom of Your Body and Mind to Face Stress, Pain, and Illness
It is helpful to redefine healing in a way that will make it available to you wherever you are on your path to wholeness. The shift comes by focusing on accepting what is and letting go of the constant striving for change.
Jon Kabat-Zinn redefines healing beautifully in Full Catastrophe Living:
” … my working definition of healing is coming to terms with things as they are.”
Healing will find us if we breathe open-heartedly into this present moment.
Let it be.
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