I am a mystic. Before you get too excited that I carry the answers of the universe within my soul, well, I’m not that kind of mystic. I’m more the ordinary soccer-mom variety that feels clueless most of the time.
Here’s a definition (courtesy of dictionary.com) I found that most closely represents my experience of being a mystic:
a person who claims to attain, or believes in the possibility of attaining, insight into mysteries transcending ordinary human knowledge, as by direct communication with the divine or immediate intuition …
I never set out to be a mystic. And if I did, I’d certainly want to be the kind that has their sh*t figured out. Instead, I’m the kind that perceives weird stuff that no one else does and I have to pretend I don’t for fear of… well, just plain fear.
For example, I see white light emanating from people and/or objects fairly regularly. Sometimes, solid objects become fluid and wavy when I look at them. I can intuit people’s moods and feelings often before they can. The kicker with this is it’s usually the stuff they are trying mightily to avoid so when I speak about it, I appear to be talking about something that is completely irrelevant. I spend most of my time trying to say the things that people want to hear instead of what they maybe need to hear. If someone is sick, hurting or physically uncomfortable, I feel it. Sometimes my body mirrors their pain and sometimes I feel a general sense of unease instead. If I’m able to name it out loud that sometimes helps. But it’s weird in certain situations to say, “Your knee hurts, doesn’t it?” especially when it’s not a topic currently being discussed, so again, back to trying to talk about what is acceptable and not what I’m sensing.
I’ve lived my whole life this way, denying what I know to be true most of the time.
It’s possible all this weird stuff isn’t what sets me apart, but actually may be the path that is leading me to oneness.
So very often we think the ‘weird stuff’ about us is why we remain unloved. That’s not true. It’s simply an invitation to really see what is true in front of us.
Am I different?
All I know is that I can’t keep denying what my experiences are and I’ll see where it leads me.
Farther away from here or closer to there?
It’s the in between that makes no sense.