The Suppression of Joy

A huge part of a spiritual awakening process, is aligning with your personality’s authenticity.  While the eventual goal is to detach from the personal, while you are still in the process, you have to honor the Truth of your personal self.  What this does is signal to your Mind that you are opening to the Higher Self within.  Being your Truest tiny self is the gateway to your Holy Self.

As I hone my authenticity, I realize that more often than not, I hide from others.  I am afraid to be this authentic self when I have an audience.  I am too worried that I will make others uncomfortable or wind up in an awkward situtaion.

I am a deeply feeling person.  I am introverted, intuitive, observant and empathic.  I want to talk about the circumstances of my life that appear to be causing my internal stress (they are not).  I want to chip away at my personal story to find the roots of my discomfort.  I want to cry.  I want to crack jokes.  I want to be free.

There are so many times throughout my day that I am stalled in a conversation that feels so untrue that I feel like pulling my hair out.  It seems like we are talking about something that is causing distress, but it feels off.

I have connected to the space between thoughts enough to know that we are never upset for the reason we think we are.  The only source of our discomfort is that we believe we are separate from God.

We never left God.

God never left us.

It’s heartbreaking when we believe we are separate and alone.  Thinking we have to conquer an impossible world by ourselves is hard. That’s a terrible story to live over and over.

I want to talk about it.  I have almost convinced myself that I need to talk about it with others.  I need to have my viewpoint validated to assure me I am on my way to spiritual freedom.

This is no more true than thinking I am separate from God.

No one is holding me back from authenticity.

Only I can do that to myself.

My joy and Truth are not suppressed.

I promise to give my best to each day, to be authentic as much as I’m able and learn the lesson that only I can lead me to where I need to go.

Where will you go today?

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