If I allow my thoughts to fall away, I can hear the heartbeat of God.
As God’s heartbeat speaks to me all the time, I mostly try to ignore it so I can fit into the world. This takes a lot of work this ignoring of God’s heartbeat. If I drop my fear and judgment either by choice or on accident, I connect to the Love within the heartbeat. I’m not very good at staying there. It’s a much different experience than being in the world. While it is timeless, loving and peaceful, there isn’t anything there that a tiny self can understand. Eventually, my tiny self gets uncomfortable in this vacuum of peace and returns to the world. Each time I leave Love and return to the world, the harder it is to be in the world. This is because now I know the world is no longer true. Only Love is true.
The world is in constant change. Nothing ever remains static. There are ups and downs and twists and turns. Something that changes constantly is not true.
God’s heartbeat is constant, eternal and never changes. It is always true.
The choice is up to me, do I keep denying God’s heartbeat and lose myself in the turbulent, unpredictable story of the tiny self, or do choose the comforting constancy of Love?
Right now, choosing Love still seems too hard. Why choose Love if I’m the only one who is there within the vacuum not able to understand it? My tiny self is still afraid of its power.
For now, I go back and forth between these experiences.
I am Love, then I am not.