At any given moment, if I stop myself in time, I feel the energy of everything around me. It is a constant buzzing that loops around me and through me.
I know I need to make peace with this energy. I would prefer to be like everyone else and make my way in the world without noticing it. I’m not sure, but most people I know of don’t feel this. When I am brave enough to ask the questions, ‘Do you feel the energy of this tree?’ or ‘Can you feel your soul extending to infinity in all directions?’ The answer is no.
This makes me feel like a stranger in every aspect, angle and space my body seems to occupy in this world.
I don’t know why I feel this. Mostly, I find it really exhausting and overwhelming. I feel it right now as I type this. An uncomfortable buzz that never leaves me. I don’t know how to rest as a tiny self with this constant noise and bustle around me.
Here is an excerpt from an article I recently read about Eckhart Tolle that sums up what I perceive.
“Without perceiving things through the old filter of past conditioning and conceptualization, one can sense the universe is intensely alive. Even so-called inanimate objects – I often pick up little objects and just look at them and sense they are alive. Physicists actually confirm that what we perceive as dead matter is not dead at all. Everything is an intensely alive energy field. That aliveness is only an aspect of the aliveness or life that I am.”
-From ‘The Awakening of Eckhart Tolle’ by Paula Coppel,
(UNITY MAGAZINE) Here’s the link to the entire interview:
I have been running from this my entire life. It is scary. It is weird. It solidifies me as a person who is never going to fit in. This is my daily struggle.
I have to stop running. I have to stop caring if you understand. I can’t pretend any longer. Why? Because this constant aliveness-sensing WILL NOT STOP.
I am at fork in the road. One way continues down a path where I feel everything but acknowledge nothing. The other is I feel it, I acknowledge it and I share it cautiously with the world.
Thanks for walking the Path with me.