True-For-You

The gift of conditional love is the ability to recognize what is unconditional.

Conditional love promises acceptance and belonging if its terms are met.  The onus is all up to you.  If you are able to meet the criteria, you will belong.  You must be vigilant.  You must constantly change who-you-are to meet the conditional where it lives.

It works for awhile.  Sometimes, it even mimics what the unconditional might feel like.

Then, the signs become too loud to ignore.  Your world changes, your body and mind begin to breakdown and even though you see the truth for what it is, you are too frightened to leave the familiar.

I cannot promise you an easy path if you choose to seek for that which is unconditional.

The heart of belonging is found within you.  Every time another is unable to walk with you on the path, they are leading you inward.  Therefore, not meeting you where you are is an act of great beauty.  For if this happens enough, maybe a thousand times or more, you are left with what is most real.

Unconditional Love.

You are complete and whole. You do not have to try to be something you aren’t or say things you never believed. You do not have to pretend up is down or wrong is right.  You can express what is true-for-you in all circumstances never needing an outside source to validate it.

If it’s true-for-you, it is.

Rest in this Knowing.

You never have to be anything other than you.

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Thy Name is Love

Sometimes what is broken must remain so, but only for a little while.

We cannot make the pain of heartbreak leave us before it has transformed what needed mending. We may walk blindly through life for years not knowing we are holding onto beliefs that do not serve or heartache too painful to process.

For years.

The courage to face what is broken comes to us over time.  As we live through the ups and downs of life, our inner resources grow and our faith that life is in our favor expands.

So that pain you have been carrying, as it it surfaces, even though it feels like the world may be ending, is sending you a message.

This pain is your beauty.  It is where all that is True and Loving exist for you.  You are shedding beliefs that are hurtful.  Learn to sit with your heartbreak and let it tell its tale.  Let it rage at the unfairness of it all.  Let it mourn the relationships that are not meant to be.  Let it break itself apart until it is a glittering, jagged mess of edges and shards.  Until it is no longer recognizable.  Until you realize that you can rename it.

And that name is Love.

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An Ever-Widening Heart

Freedom from suffering.  This is what we all seek whether we admit it to ourselves or not.  On this seeker’s path we come to know this freedom by accepting life exactly as it finds us.  When we open wide to our inner experience and as the waves of emotion flow through us, all is transformed into Love.

For ourselves, this is a choice.  A way of being.  We decide we want to respond to the world instead of react to it.  Once this understanding takes hold in our hearts, our path is forever altered towards Truth.  We become living, breathing expressions of the is-ness of life.

Through us life becomes pure.

It is not an easy process.  It is not without pain but it holds great and everlasting purpose.

This is how we illuminate the way for those lost in the dark.  We become so intimate with the hidden fear and pain within us, we can look with wholeness at the hidden fear and pain of others.

We cannot prevent turmoil in another. If we could, they would lose the gifts embedded in their journey.  Though these gifts are unseeable in the moment, we trust they are there.  This is because we have walked through our own despair with open eyes and collected deeper heart wisdom.

We are only meant to walk along side the hurting other as a witness.

As Love Itself.

To hand back to them the possibility of growing in Truth, in wisdom and in an ever-widening heart.

Whether by chance or by grief, we all return Home.

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This Is Life

Within life’s shatterings, a wisdom will find and guide us.  This wisdom watches and waits without judgement.  It knows the Truth of our hearts.  When life does not match our heart’s Truth, it starts to crumble away.

Even if we are aware of this process, it will not prevent the pain associated with it.  If we attempt to avoid this pain, it only prolongs our suffering.

First the crumble, then the pain and then we meet our Truth.

Most of our pain is attached to our illusion that we are in control of how life unfolds.  This can take many forms.  It can look like ‘security’ with the way things are and a belief comfortable circumstances will remain the same.  It sometimes shows up as imagining a future goal and our desired outcome of this goal will free us from our feelings of inadequacy.  The most common and habitual deflection of the fear of life’s constant shifts is placing our anger, guilt, shame and blame on others.

We can stay trapped in this ‘otherness’ for a lifetime.

It is okay if we do.  We are human.

However, we can make freedom choices within our human framework that originate in awareness.  If we choose to be present as much as we are able, Truth might reach us today instead of tomorrow.

This is the practice.  This is life.

This is Everything.

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Complete Happiness

When your story begins, you do not choose the participants.  You make the best of who shows up.  You can dance, sing, cry, scream or in the worst cases, make yourself invisible all in the name of seeking outside validation within your story’s confines.

You can do this for as long as necessary, until your inner well empties and you feel as if you may die from thirst.  This thirst burns at you until you take ownership of what is going on inside your heart.

Grief.  Sorrow. Regret.

I have walked along the path of life with these as my companions.  I did my best to ignore them.  I ran faster, tried harder and configured myself into images I believed might make me lovable.

Nothing I did worked until one day exhaustion forced me to stop.  As I rested Grief, Sorrow and Regret finally caught up to me.

“Why are you running?” they asked.  “Where are you trying to go?”

To my freedom I told them.

“But that is not The Way.  Freedom is not a destination, it is an understanding.  It is not there, it is here.

Right here.

Always.”

I had not realized it yet but Grief, Sorrow and Regret had become my friends.  By talking to them and letting them have their say, they bestowed gifts upon me.

As I feel what needs to be felt and express what needs to leave me, I am learning the greatest lesson of all.

Even love unreciprocated heals us.  For every blind heart we have turned towards is a reminder that the only love we need is within us.

You are complete.

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The Slanted Rays of Healing

If the ground shifts beneath you it is okay to fall down.  You can stay there for as long as you need.

You do not need to try to get up.  In fact, it is better to feel where you are even if it hurts.

I am here in the dark.

It is in this inky bleakness I have discovered an immutable truth.

Even the depth of night holds unspeakable beauty.

Abundance is all around.  It is in the sky, written in the stars and stamped across the horizon.

Our hearts can hurt but our minds can turn to Love.

Pain levels have nothing to do with awakening.  We can hurt and awaken.  We can have peace and awaken.

We can be both and awaken.

Suffering exists for some and is pushed away by many.  For those awake enough to turn towards the discomfort, rays of healing slant their way in like sunbeams slicing through a window shutter.

It does not make the pain go away, but it might change our relationship to it.

A step back, a breath in and a heart turned inward;

this is where you find yourSelf.

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As Silence Goes

As silence goes, it can only hold so much.  If you have not yet cleared away the muck, silence will slip away.

It is easy to avoid the quiet and lose yourself in the noise.  Noise makes little sense when filtered through the mind.

Noise becomes a message when filtered through silence.

Silence will break through the patterns until you are left with a singular truth.

You are hurting.

Someone hurt you.

You feel alone.

You are misunderstood.

You are not held in love.

All painful beliefs are symptoms of feeling separate.  None are more or less true, but the pain beneath them is real.

If we never allow our lives to pause, we will forever be at the mercy of our hidden beliefs and pain.

There will be times wise and loving action is required of us.

Yet, true alchemy begins in our stillness.

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